Poop Attacks

Why is it that every time someone in a public restroom gets a poop attack and you walk in on them, they just sit in the stall for a half hour? Like today, I walk into a two-stall restroom to change. The chick next to me just sat there silently, not even shuffling a foot, the whole ten minutes while I was changing. I actually thought she had left but when I looked down there were feet in the stall still. Why? Either let it out, or leave and come back when the coast is clear. It's not like I don't know what you're up to! And anyways, everyone gets poop attacks! Speaking of which...

UPDATE: My own poop went fabulously. I however experienced another one of those stall lurkers today. I was in the bathroom at school doing my make up because I ran out of the house today, and this girl kept thinking I was going to leave soon so she just stayed in the stall. Sadly, I wasn't going anywhere, and neither was she! So anyways, I realized this is a big problem. People don't know how to poop gracefully in public. So here are some tips if you're one of those awkward lurkers.

1) Scope out the obscure bathrooms. There are bathrooms that people use less than others. These also include disability restrooms. Yes, it usually says on the door not to use it if you don't have a disability, but as far as I'm concerned, a poop attack is definitely a disability. 

2) Don't go at rush hour. I know it's hard to tell your poop attacks when to and not to come (otherwise you'd wait til you got home!) but if you can hold it until people are in class or lunch time is over, you're less likely to get trapped. Or, if it is really busy, that's a good time to go. When the bathroom is noisy with flushing and water running, hurry and duke it out and get out. No one will know who it was.

3) Poop really fast. 

4) Everybody Poops. I am waiting for the day when someone takes a huge, loud, smelly dump and saunters unabashedly out of the stall in front of everyone. I can't wait to see that. People are so embarrassed about something that we all do! Why isn't pee embarrassing? It may not be quite as strong smelling, but it is still waste! Anyways I think poop etiquette needs to change. We need to come to a universal understanding that since people poop in public restrooms already, it won't be a big deal to just admit it. 

The End

You are what you eat, smoke, drink, inhale, inject...uh..

So, here am I, totally supposed to be working on one of my bazillion term papers, and instead I'm writing a blog. Whoops. I've also decided I should probably stop sitting in the hallways, because apparently everyone thinks I am the guest information booth. No, I don't know where the Luau is, nor do I know where the 15034350th ward activity is being held. But I do know that the topic of today's blog is one that myself, along with others, have been confused over for the past few days. I know that I love to rant about the "injustices" of the world, but honestly, if anyone has the answer to these issues, by all means, let me know.

So if you were to pick any Mormon at random, and asked them what the Word of Wisdom entails, this is most likely what they'd say:

-No tobacco

-No alcohol

-No coffee or tea

-No drugs

Am I right in suggesting that is how people interpret the WoW? 

But wait a second, if you look a little closer at D&C 89, a dietary guideline "adapted to the capacity of the weak" (89:3), you will see it is not as clear cut as the above list. 

First, while it does prohibit the consumption of tobacco, strong drinks (coffee and tea, and anything else harmful, it does not completely exclude alcohol. In vv. 5-6, wine is actually permitted for the sacrament.

Furthermore, the chapter also discusses in great length the avoidance of meat (or the use thereof sparingly), and the prescription of fruits and vegetables. It also rambles about certain grains and their proper use, such as "barley...for mild drinks". Yea, I don't know any mild drink made out of barley...maybe O'Douls?

ANYWAYS, okay so if we're supposed to eat healthily, that is, eat meat sparingly, but chow down freely on fruits and veggies, why doesn't anyone ever enforce it? Why is it that some one who drinks loses their temple recommend, but someone who is morbidly obese is apparently totally worthy? Granted, no one is perfect, everyone will make unhealthy choices, but why is one more serious than the other?

My belief is that the emphasis placed on specific spots of the WoW are culturally motivated. Even after the revelation of the WoW, alcohol was being consumed by the great leaders of the church. A common misconception is that as soon as D&C 89 was received, all these things were tossed out. However, even my husband's ancestors who lived in Nauvoo owned and operated a pub long after the revelation. 

People didn't lose their temple recommends for smokin a little weed now and then. Okay I might be exaggerating a bit there but once I did read a quote from Brigham Young about cultivating marijuana. I will give $100 to whoever can find it.

I digress...essentially I think it a tad unusual that someone who has an addiction to food (an addiction every bit as deadly and detrimental as any drug on the market), can totally be praised, but someone who tips one back every now and again is a total sinner. But the way society reacts to obesity is the acknowledgment that they're "still a good person". They have an addiction. But someone who is an alcoholic is "horrible". Certainly the symptoms are different. An alcoholic is a little erratic, loud, rambuctious, while someone who is overeating is slowly, quietly killing themselves as well. So what's the difference?

I also will say I agree with v.3 of d&c 89. The Word of Wisdom is brought around, "adapted to the capacity of the weak". Sure, I may be an okay drunk, but Billy Bob may blow at it. So our bad apple Billy Bob ruins the whole bunch. It is better not to even risk it which is why we must avoid these things in the first place.

Am I making any sense? Thoughts? 

Surprise Surprise

This study cites Utah as the 44th safest state for children. Say what??? Yes, 86% of states are safer than Utah. It's sad when your state competes with Alaska for the most sex offenders/pedophiles. I'm sure you can come with your own reasons for this. On a brighter note, since Alaska has 1 sex offender for every 143 people that means Skagway only has like 5 sex offenders!

Here are the top safest states:
1. Connecticut
2. Rhode Island
3. New Jersey
4. New York
5. California
6. Maine
7. Pennsylvania
8. Massachusetts
9. Maryland
10. Oregon

Interesting that there are so many "blue" states in that list. Oh wait, they're all Blue States*!

*a blue state is primarily democrat.

This is LOVE, Baby!!

Yea so basically MAC (cosmetics) has just collaborated with Heatherette, a crazy-cool fashion duo, who in turn created the sweetest line of MAC to date! It comes out on Thursday and I'm already peeing my pants! Well, almost peeing my pants! Okay, so I'm not literally peeing my pants. But I'm still so excited, fortunately for you, you have no idea. Beautiful! 

Something A Little Less Pessimistic

You know I am more than happy to rant and rave about the annoying things at BYU, but I thought today I'd take a break and do something fun, corny and boring. :) Yes, it's a questionnaire...about looovve! But don't worry, I'm stewing up a perfectly awesome rant for tomorrow...or maybe later this evening! 

How long have you been together? 

We met in 05, and dated a few months later, so we've been together on and off for 2 1/2 years.

Where did you meet? 

Well you see, I lived in an all-girls and married housing complex, and one day this hot guy (trent) came over to, oh I dunno, flirt. But I thought since he lived in our complex, he must be married, so I kind of didn't reciprocate the flirting. After a few days however, I kind of put two and two together and discovered that he and his buddies had some how rigged the system to live there because apparently married housing is cheaper and so yea...that's that!

What was your first date?

We went to the movies and saw V for Vendetta. I enjoyed myself but I thought he was too cool for me and that we'd not end up going on a second date.

What first attracted you to him? 

Besides his dashing personality and good looks, I think his independence and confidence attracted me. Guys, that's the secret to getting a girl! I had been so used to dating guys who bummed rides off me or tried to get me to split the bill at dinner that it was so refreshing to see someone who had a nice car, had money, etc, and all from his own hard work. He didn't complain about money either. It was good to meet someone who although young, I could depend on and not feel like I'd be the bread winner for the rest of my life. 

How long did you date? 

Again, we dated about 2 years give or take.

Who kissed who first? 

We were on our second date and I suggested we drive up to Sundance because I had remembered being there once and the stars were amazing, you could see the whole solar system. We went up there again, and this time sparks flew instead of stars! :) 

Who said "I love you" first?

I'm guessing he did, because although I always felt like I wanted to burst out and with "I love you!" I didn't want to scare him..guys get scared so easily by that! 

Who proposed?

He did. It was my birthday, we were in Alaska, and we took a helicopter ride up to the glaciers. I figured the ride was just for my birthday. I knew we were to be officially engaged soon, but figured he didn't have my ring yet, since it was a custom order all the way down in Utah. However, as soon as we landed on the glacier, he popped the question. Of course he already knew the answer. 

Where and when were you married?

I think September 22. 2007, in Payson Utah, overlooking the valley. Beautiful. I say I think because it was either Sept 21 or 22 and actually it was the 22nd but I keep thinking it was the 21st! After our first month anniversary I was so sad because Trent said "happy one month anniversary yesterday" what I thought to be two days late, but it turned out that it really had been the day before!

Who is smarter?

Smarter as in grammar or in biology? Probably him in both anyways.

Who does the laundry?

No one. Just kidding! He is very domesticated, he usually takes care of it although I do my unfair share. :)

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

I believe that would be me. 

Who does the bills?

What bills? We're livin the life! 

Who mows the lawn? 

Nothin much to mow at the present time. Our in house gardener does that though. 

Who cooks dinner?

Well you see, we kind of live with his mother, so she takes care of that 90% of the time, otherwise we go out. I'm incredibly not domestic. 

Who is more stubborn?

I wouldn't say either of us are ridiculously stubborn. If we get in a debate, I would say it's him. He is good at debating. 

What is your favorite date?

Anything that doesn't entail schoolwork! We love to rock climb. That's our most common date as of recent.

What do you like best about him now?

Everything, especially his perfectly sculpted back side- it's a model's ass, baby! haha. but other than that, he is the sweetest, cutest guy in the world, i think i picked well. even my grandma wants to date him!

ok I told you that was going to be corny! 

Boredom in Utah = Trouble for all

So this poor kid wears a cloak and sings outside while waiting for his next class. Innocent (and weird) enough, right? Then someone calls the BYU police on him. He is asked to stop singing. A few days later, he is once again reported to the police because he is singing and apparently disturbing the peace. UHHH, WTF?

I am not oblivious to the fact that BYU students and Mormons are just as human as everyone else and in result, err often in judgment, but if you truly believe in a church that says love everyone no matter what their differences, why do these kids insist on calling the police on some poor, innocent kid? 

This is the same problem the homosexuals face; nobody knows anything about tolerance and love for different people. 

It's sad too, because BYU affords such a great education to students, and I honestly think that our teachers are cream of the crop. They often teach us stuff about tolerance. So why do these students not get it? 

I hate thinking that people are so concerned with another person's life that they would think it their responsibility to call the cops on them. It's just like when we were in the WILK and this girl stops this guy with a beard and goes "excuse me sir, but do you have a beard card?" it's like who cares? stay out of his business, and what if he does have a beard card? How do you think he feels being asked about it everywhere he goes? 

Anyways my rant for the day. 

Things I DON'T Like

I was 5  years old when my great-grandmother died at the age of 90. One of the only things I remember about her death was that I was so amazed that she didn't die of getting shot. I thought she was super lucky to escape this world being so old. 

Isn't that sad? That a 5 yr old already knew how perilous the world is? That we are lucky if we don't get shot and killed in life? 

This article talks about just one of the many random shootings that are cropping up everywhere in the U.S. Some guy opened fire in a Wendy's and killed this Paramedic, whose family was waiting for him outside in the car. Can you imagine? Simply stopping at a Wendy's to eat can mean life and death.

What is wrong with our country? I'm sorry but how often do we see this in Canada, France, England, etc? Gang related, I can understand. But random, angry people who kill everyone and then themselves? Get out of here.

Honestly, I think our country is so spoiled that we think our lives are so terrible when in comparison, they're amazing! If you put the poorest person in the U.S. up to the average individual in India, China, Mexico- you name it, they'd still be better off. Stop whining about your poor life, and get over it. So people treat you like crap? So what! Like honestly, I don't feel bad for some handyman.

Anyways sadness indeed. Let's just love each other! Easier said than done, right? 

Thank Me Later

WhiskeyMilitia.com

SteepandCheap.com

You'll understand when you actually go to the website, but essentially what goes on is they have a deal-til-it's-gone. So a $60 sweatshirt may be $20, but only til it's sold out. Shirts are like $8-10, and again, when they sell out, they're gone and a new item will come up on the screen. If you live in utah, you can opt to pick up your order at their SLC hq and they'll scrap the shipping charge. Anyways,  I have found some pretty cute things on here!!

Whiskey is more skater, snowboard, surfing. Very contemporary. I've seen DC, Split, Electric, Spy, Special Blend, Four Square, Burton, Forum, etc. 

Steep and Cheap is rock climbing, hiking, skiing, etc. It is more "granola" if that's the p.c. word for it. They have Oakley, Prana, Mountain Hardwear, Arcteryx, etc. Great deals for all!

The mother company is backcountry.com who own dogfunk.com, and they always have sales, so if you don't like the deal of the day check there. 

Things I Like

Click Here to see the silliest little video! So clever especially compared to today's standards!