Monday, October 20, 2008

Beauty Shop Robbery's A Drag

Read this story and then follow: Beauty Shop Robbery's A Drag

We all have weird families, but not everyone can say that the man in that article reminds them of their great-Oncle Hans. In 1999, when my grandmother passed away, Hans came calling, and as sad as he was about my grandma's passing, I think he might have been calling for more important reasons. He first noticed my ravishing older sister, Jenn, who at the time was only about 20, and took great interest in getting to know her (I'm sure she wasn't so interested, but ya never know!).

Hans then inquired about perhaps borrowing one of my grandma's wigs, since she obviously didn't need them anymore. My mom asked Hans why he wanted a wig, and he replied that he wanted to dress up as a woman to his favorite eating establishment, Chuck-O-Rama, because the last time he had gone there, the waitress wasn't so fond of him hitting on her, so he got banned from eating there period. He already had the dress from his long-ago-deceased wife, but evidently needed a hairpiece to complete the ensemble.

Well, he didn't get to borrow the wig, but I have no doubts that he managed to put something creative together for himself. Hans is definitely colorful, and there are many stories about his escapades, but very few match the cross-dressing-to-go-to-Chuck-o-Rama story...EXCEPT....

Last year, my Oncle Pete was in the grocery store, when he ran into one of Hans' daughters. Being that that side of my family is from Germany, the woman didn't speak very good English, but they stumbled through an update from each others' lives. Pete asked how Hans was doing, and she responded that he had died a few months ago. Well, of course, this offended half the family, as no one had been invited to the funeral or even notified that he'd died. So most of the family were convinced they would not talk to that part of the family ever again for not even giving the courtesy of telling us of Hans' death. Everyone was sad, and we thought fondly of the memory of Hans's cross-dressing extravaganza.

A few months go by, and one day, my Tante Rita (Oncle Pete's wife) gets a phone call, and on the other side of the phone is Hans. She's like "Hans? What the crap?" And he carries on for some time about something or other totally unrelated to anything, asking to borrow something or I dunno. haha. Well, she was no doubt tempted to ask him "Why aren't you dead?", but opted instead to call another one of his daughters and ask what the deal was. 

Apparently, the daughter who told Pete that Hans had died, was confused in the conversation and thought he meant someone entirely different who had indeed died.

Families rock. 


CC said...

haha this was such a strange occurence. oh and uncle is spelled Onkel in german silly!

abbyc85 said...

my bad! lol. obviously i didn't take german grammar class. but that's how u spell it in french! :)