Wednesday, December 30, 2009

What is an American?

Today Trent and I actually got off our lazy bums, and headed down to the newly renovated American History Museum in DC. I have been wanting to check it out for the past few years, but it's been under renovation for what felt like ages, so I was excited to finally see it in its full glory.

And what a full glory it is! I am, admittedly, a history buff. I think I get it from my dad- he told me that when he was 17, he did a summer at GWU, and spent 17 hrs over a period of 2 days in the American History museum!! I am so jealous, I wish I had that much time in there, as there's so much to see.

I love seeing artifacts from other times, and learning and re-learning about the history of the world. But I especially love American History. Although at times I might feel a little disappointed with current state of the average "American", visiting this museum today made really proud of this country and the people who accomplished it all. I realized that not everyone can be a true American; it takes a certain sassiness, a certain drive to really be American. For example, I laughed at a tea pot from the 18th Century that had "No Stamp Act" painted on it- this is so American! Take that, proprietous English tea pot! :)

I am also deeply moved by Abraham Lincoln, and the things he accomplished, even though his time as president was short. He seemed like such an awe-worthy individual, despite looking slightly creepy in a couple photographs. And I love that he was 6'4", which was massive at that time. I mean, I looked at half the men's clothing on display, and they'd barely have fit me! What is the deal, why are people so much taller these days? Evolution much?

We saw the "Star Spangled Banner", the original flag that flew when Francis Scott Key was held prisoner at Fort McHenry. It is a marvel that it still exists, what with its busy life. The family who had it for almost a century were so proud of it, that they'd display it outdoors at times, and often give "snippings" of it as souvenirs to people, hence the reason half of it is gone. Yikes I know! But I remember seeing this flag when I was a little girl- it would be revealed once every hour or so, and then they'd cover it back up. Then, in 1998, they decided the flag was so weak that it couldn't be hung anymore. So, they had to spend time restoring it, and putting it in some chamber where it lays down now. The conservation process looked massive, but totally amazing- I really want to be a conservator! Can you imagine being part of the preservation of such fantastic artifacts?

Another remarkable thing (as frankly there were so many, that I'd be here for days if I were to tell all the things I loved), was the exhibit on Edison, and his light bulb. Although Trent may beg to differ (he argues that Edison unfairly ruined Tesla, a claim I will have to research further), I am really grateful for Edison. Can you imagine where we'd be without the light bulb? Holy cow! I just don't understand how so many centuries went by with people relying on the light from a flame. If we never got the light bulb, imagine how little would've been currently accomplished- probably 1% of what we've done. And, I might have gone slightly mental from having to constantly light candles. :)

So, in conclusion, I think visiting this museum has only reinforced my hope of what heaven will be like: A disclosure of all things unknown. I want all those "guess I'll never really know" inquiries to be fully answered, and I want to meet all these amazing people from our history, and the WWWWH of it all. I really hope that's what it's like, as I could care less for the tropical island and juicy pears lol.

Oh and can I just say how inspiring the whole city of D.C. is?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Some People!

Sometimes, in life, I am compelled to check or, ya know, just to see how Utah is doing. Every time, I am repelled by either totally ridiculous articles, or totally ridiculous reader comments, and I realize why, as soon as the plane touches the landing strip, I'm always ready to leave.

Case in point: This article about the LDS Church's support for Utah anti-discrimination laws. As a side note, why is this even newsworthy? I would hope that the church does not support discrimination, but who am I?

Now, allow me to quote some reader comments for you.

From Hardtail, who, I gather, finds himself to be a model LDS:

We don't want a repeat of the kiss-in because two
skirt-wearing (at least in their minds)fairies were feeling
each other up in public.

We don't mind giving the Sexually Confused a few general
rights, but they ain't gonna get the right to marry like
normal people do.

Ok, pretty offensive, but not surprising. Though I'm sure the leaders of the church are grateful that you're reinforcing stereotypes about Mormons. *sarcasm*

And again from Hardtail (after someone criticized his views):
Since it is you who blatantly disagrees with your
Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, I would venture to
proclaim that it is you who is entirely confused.

It happens to be a fact that your Lord and Master
is Jesus Christ.

It's a hard fact.

Not knowing this, is confusion.

I see you have an extremely large dose of this
malfunction and therefore, your faith is based on
ignorance and not the facts.

So righteous is he that this individual chooses to spend his time in contention with people on a ksl message board. Definitely sounds like his WWJD? bracelet is working well.

From Wompus, an apparent elitist:
I have a great friend who isn't LDS and she trying hard to be a good person, not to go partying all the time at clubs, drinking, hanging around the wrong crowds, etc...

She moved to sacarmento about a year ago and she called me basically just so upset, all the men she meets just want sex, they don't want to have a good relationship. It's basically what can you do for me and can I get in your pants! I feel so bad for her. If she only had what we in Utah have, a people, who as you mentioned are far from perfect, but at least are taught the difference between right from wrong and are asked to make a commitment to choose the right and forsake the crap!

Our society doesn't raise good kids anymore! Our society doesn't hold firm on good values, honesty, hard work, morality, fidelity. They say, you're going to screw up anyways, lets through some condoms at you, teach you the how to put one on a banana, and if you screw up, we'll allow you to murder the baby inside you because hey, we don't want a life to ruin your dreams! You should be allowed to escape the consequences because hey, you're not good enough to make the right choices, we know you're going to screw up so let's prepare you for failure now, because that's really what you are!

I don't think I can even express how it disgusts me that this sort of 'better than thou' attitude actually exists. It's the same reason I hate being in Utah- constant judging, people thinking the outside world is so evil and without morals. Mormons are not the only ones with a conscience!

I guess if people want to wallow in their misconstrued facts all day, I just must ignore them. It's like a sociopath- you stay away, unless all you want is to be constantly disappointed.

BUT, that said, I know a lot of great people in Utah, some that I'd love to keep in my life, so the reality is, that just like there are some kooks in Utah, there are a lot of wonderful people there. It's a shame that they are overshadowed by the crazies on these websites, whose inaccurate comments are visible to people all over the world.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Happy Holidays!

Hope everyone is having (or had) a wonderful Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus! Mine was very enjoyable, and might I brag that my husband is a phenomenal gift-giver? I mean, as much as we hate to admit it, the gifts are pretty much the best part of Christmas. I scored a Tiffany's bracelet, complete with the cutest scottie dog charm, which will hopefully tide me over til the day when I can get a real scottie dog :). I feel so "bling bling" wearing it, it's pretty much the nicest piece of jewelry I've really ever had. At first my insides might have tied into a knot b/c I know Tiffany's is not cheap, and mi money es su money, right? But then I thought, we are most likely not going to have these nice of Christmases every year, so might as well enjoy it while we can, right? Who knows what next year will (or won't) bring?

I also scored:
-Reebok "Easy Tone" shoes, but the sad thing is that apparently they're sold out virtually everywhere, so they weren't the exact ones I I've gotta decide if I should just return them and wait til the good ones become available, or if I should settle for these? Decisions, decisions.
-North Face puffy vest, which I'd wanted for like 3 years now...
-a white North Face jacket

Trent scored:
-A bunch of climbing gear, aka overpriced nuts bolts and wires
-LRG shirts
-Climbing Headlamp
-Arc'teryx 'Atom' Jacket
-The sickest mini sock monkey EVERRR- it was definitely my favorite gift for him, even though it was the cheapest at $6.99 :)

Oh and in my stocking, I got a lot of feathers. Now, you may think what does she need feathers for? Well, I've been making headbands lately...I couldn't find exactly what I wanted at the store, so I thought, well hell, I'll make my own, and so far so good! I have gotten a lot of compliments on them. I will have to add some photos on here, so you can see how amazing they are. ;)

Well, I hope everyone likewise had a good holiday, and if didn't get your fill of sweets, come on over, as we have lots of candy leftover :)

Monday, December 21, 2009


Ok so I kinda try to stay away from politics these days and so I'm deffo not looking for a big ol' debate that goes round and round and round, but doesn't really establish anything, but...

...can I just say, for those who are against universal healthcare, I envy you, b/c you must have affordable healthcare. I am one of those 30million + people that don't have it. It's not that I don't want it, but I don't want to pay $700+ a month on something I use maybe once a year for a checkup. I guess I could go for the $300-400/month insurance, but then my deductible is like $2000, and again, is pretty worthless to me. And frankly, I'm happy to pay for my insurance, but can it just be reasonably priced?

It's crazy how many people I know that are without healthcare, or will just get healthcare on their infant or kids, but can't afford it for themselves. In fact, I barely know of anyone who HAS insurance, lol.

I also like how many people in my religion are so anti-socialist, but what is the United Order? Law of Consecration? Tithing? Any of these things ring a bell? For people who are so wrapped up in socialist organization, it's kinda ironic.

I just hate worrying about this stuff. End rant.

Glee Finale (a.k.a. Cheating part II)

Yes, this is a bit late I know, but a couple of weeks ago I promised my sister that I'd write a blog about my thoughts on the Glee finale, so here goes. I'm sorry if you haven't seen the show, but hopefully it's not all in vain :)

But my thoughts are basically on the relationship between Emma and Mr. Shu. *Spoiler Ahead, so leave if you don't wanna be spoiled*

As we know, there has been an obvious connection between the two for the entire season, despite the fact that Mr. Shu is married (albeit, a bit unhappily). I've been wishing and hoping and praying for nothing to happen btwn Emma and Mr. Shu b/c I think Mr. Shu is better than cheating on his wife, and so is Emma.

But now that Mr. Shu has apparently left his wife, what now? Obviously, he seemed to think that it's ok to pursue Emma at this point...but is it ok? I was frankly quite pleased when Emma basically insisted that b/c he'd "just left his wife", it wasn't ok. I agree with that. But what I want to know is, how does someone (Emma, for example) fall in love with a married man in the first place?

I mean once a man is married, how do you let yourself fall for them? Yes, they may have great attributes, but they're taken, get over it, and find someone else with equally good attributes that is single.

Ex: When I first met Trent, I thought he was married (b/c I lived in women's and married housing, so by process of elimination, I thought he was married, didn't think that him and his buddies had circumvented the system and somehow got a guys only apt, lol). Anyways, when he first knocked on our door to ask us something about the complex, I was taken aback b/c this "married man" was kinda flirty. In fact I definitely was cold to him the first few times, until I realized he was single. I think I barely said 2 words to him when he came to the door, to get his creepy self to go away, lol. And though I thought he was attractive, and wished that I could find a guy like him, I didn't want the actual married man. The key word is a man like him.

I also get a little sad how some people completely disregard the fact that people are married. It's really disrespectful. Look, I have no problem w/ someone having a "crush" on my husband or thinking him attractive, but if they were trying to pursue him, I'd say go get yourself a single man, you'll have much less drama that way anyways :)

IDK, I guess it all goes along with my thought that fidelity/infidelity is a decision and completely premeditated the entire way. It's not like "oops I dunno what happened, one minute I was at work, the next I woke up in their bed". The thought arises that "XYZ would be cheating", and the person decides if they will or will not go through with it.

Anyways, that's kinda what I gathered from the show. And no, I don't think Mr. Shu is, by any means, ready to pursue Emma. Actually, I think his wife should be forgiven. She seems contrite, and her actions were obviously not meant to betray him, she was just afraid of losing him. She is not an inherently bad person, just a bit confused. Mr. Shu is honestly the one that needs to take a step back and figure it all out.

See ya :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Have your cake and eat it too...

I just scarffed down a red velvet cupcake. It was amazing, the best I've ever eaten. And although lately I've been pretty conscientious of what I eat (I have to be, seeing as though I eat out every day!), I didn't feel guilty while eating this cupcake. And that was a good feeling.

I am glad that I do feel bad sometimes, because if I didn't, I would always over-eat. So I'm glad, but also grateful that I can eat a cupcake once and a while and enjoy every morsel without wondering how much weight I'll gain. :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

An Experience in Gratitude

Ok so today we were in Harlingen, TX, and my manager and I were standing outside our coach when, from the street, we heard a loud crashing sound, akin to when a garbage truck dumps a bag of trash in an empty bin, except much louder. We went running to the street and saw an SUV completely upside down- it had flipped over!

My first instinct was to call 9-1-1. Well ok, my first thought was that someone else would call, but I caught myself and said "what if everyone thinks the same thing?", so I called. It was a long, drawn out call, with lots of (at least I felt at the time) unnecessary questions such as "what color is the car?" (uh, does it matter, it's the only one that's flipped over, you can't miss it), "how many people are in the car?" (i am not really in the car, and it is smashed on it's top, so I would know this how) and yes, I had to repeat the address 20 times. I'm thankfully not used to calling 9-1-1, so I guess it could've been normal procedure but frankly, with all the time that passed with these questions, I would just not want to waste any time. I mean, if I'm not mistaken, they dispatch immediately, so the details are AFTER the ambulance is on it's way, but I was freaking out because every second could be precious in this man's life.

ANYWAYS, in the mean time, Trent had run over to try to help the guy (there were many people running over too), and at one point I even saw him running around with a crow bar to get the guy out. It turns out, the guy was (miraculously!) just fine, but his foot was stuck somehow so Trent actually climbed in to loosen his foot. I couldn't believe it when he told me, that he'd go to that length. Luckily I was not watching but if I had known that I'd probably have freaked- the car could've exploded or something! I was just so amazed by his selflessness.

Now, this experience, though it shook me up, was in many ways life changing. Please bare with me, as it gets a little random, but here it all is.

The first thing that struck me: Usually I am the one in the background who watches, who as I mentioned, figures that someone else will help or take care of the scary situation. But at that moment, I was reminded of a recent situation at a high school where a girl was repeatedly sexually assaulted by many different people, in front of many people who did nothing to stop it. The article cited a certain effect, where people assume someone else is gonna help, so they don't do anything. I am sure that I have been guilty of that in the past. And frankly, that sounds a little messed up, so I decided I didn't want to be that person anymore. I did what I hope others will do if I'm ever in a bad situation, and truth be told, it makes me feel good about what I did.

Now, on the topic of calling 9-1-1, this has strangely been a phobia of mine since I was young. I have googled it, and I don't see a name for this sort of fear. But it mostly stems from many many nightmares I had as a young girl, where our house was being robbed, or something scary was happening, and I would try to call 9-1-1 but nothing would come out when I'd talk. So, I've always been really freaked out to call 9-1-1 because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to follow through. I'm glad I proved myself wrong.

What I was most impressed with, however, was my husband and his actions, and the realization that I'm married to an amazing person (not that I didn't already know this but it's nice to get reminded!). He put this man's life before his own, to get him out. It was risky, but all about the other person. The best part about this is that it's not the first time he's been selfless. This is the same man that stops to help elderly women when I don't even notice that they're struggling at doing something; he is the same guy who works tirelessly to love every one of his siblings and fears offending them. He is just so thoughtful and loving and kind, and I know that this is pure bragging, but I think the occasion is appropriate and so for once, I am allowing it :)

I just realized that there are a couple individuals in his life that don't appreciate him because he isn't a) 100% active or b) a college graduate or other petty things, and they are missing out so so so much from really having joy in their life by doing so. He risks his life for a stranger, imagine what he'd do for his own family.

So, while I feel horrid for the fact that this happened, I am grateful for the lessons it taught me, and the new appreciation I have for my dear husband, Trent.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Withdrawal Beginning 5 Minutes Ago

Yep, we just finished watching all the back episodes of Big Love, and now I've gotta wait til January for Season 4! Arghhh... I am glad I waited all this time to get into this show because I would've hated having to wait forever to watch all those episodes- especially during the strike a couple years ago when they halted production.

ANYWAYS, last night we watched the infamous episode that includes a re-enaction of some of the temple ceremony. I kinda feel like I should watch out for a lightning bolt for saying that- a lightning bolt from other mormons, not from God- because I know that the episode wasn't very kosher to Mormons. Nonetheless, here are my reflections on the whole thing:

Now let me begin by saying that I don't necessarily condone having sacred rituals being re-enacted for the sake of entertainment. Whether it's Hindu or Buddhist or Catholic or Masons or, of course, Mormons, if a certain religion doesn't want you to discuss their sacred ritual, then there should be respect for that.

The producers claimed it was absolutely essential to the plot; However, I disagree. It is obvious that it was just included to show the temple. There's no necessity to it. The character, Barb, is about to be ex-communicated for being a polygamist, so she asks her mother and sister for one of them to lend her a temple recommend so she can go. Well, not only are temple recommends non-transferrable, but what's the point of going through the temple if you're about to be ex'd? From the references, I gather that she had been there long ago, and she was simply seeking peace from the temple, but if you weren't worthy, wouldn't there be very little to gain from going to the temple? *Shrug* So yea, I just thought it would be a very unlikely thing to do, and seeing as though her sister is allegedly a very active Mormon (her husband is in the 70 or something similar), would she really let her go to the temple knowingly? The mother and sister both went with her btw, so how did 3 people get in the temple with 2 recommends? hehe.

Well the actual scene was, first off, just a brief part of the temple ceremony, which I know, I know, is just as bad as showing any at all, I guess? Still, I found the representation to be spot on, and was very similar to my experience. Weirdly enough, I felt the spirit while watching the scene, because I recollected how true it all felt to me at the time. So, whether or not it was ok to include this scene, for me it strengthened my testimony. Of course, I do realize that it's casting pearls before swine, hence others watching may have scoffed and thought it totally weird. But really, I can't worry bout what others think, only how it affected me.

One thing that makes me cringe and even laugh when I watch Big Love is how sometimes they miss the mark on representing Mormons and the religion. Sometimes they're pretty spot on (such as the temple ceremony), but other times it's totally just silly and overrexaggerated. For example, when Barb has finished going through the temple and is in a waiting room, the matron comes up and goes "sorry, your 15 minutes are up". Now, I've only been to the temple once, but I am not aware that they say that. Or when they portray missionaries or bishops, they just seem so insincere and/or overzealous. It gets a little goofy.

I realize the directors researched Mormons and Utah culture for a few years before the show, but I really think sometimes the show would be even better if someone had actually grown up in Utah or in the culture- someone who isn't totally resentful either. Though I know it's hard to find someone who's not resentful :)

I guess ultimately it was interesting to me and added value to MY life, and made me "crave" going to the temple again, but I kinda roll my eyes at some of the slight exaggerations in the show.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

My Latest Infatuation

As I've been trying to wean myself off my makeup addiction, I have kinda taken a new interest in reading. Ok the word "new" may be a little misleading, seeing as this isn't the only time in life that I've been interested in books, but it's new as of late. The books I've read in the past couple years have, admittedly, usually been for school, so I guess they count, but just barely. Anyways, a couple days ago I went crazy, buying $70 worth of books from B&N's website- they were having a sale, and I never pass up a good sale. :)

Here are some books I've in the past little while:
-The 19th Wife by David Ebershoff (a novel that mixes truth and fiction about current and past polygamy in the U.S.)

-Five People you Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (a different yet touching twist on what happens when you reach the other side)

-Eat This, Not That! by David Zinczenko (a great guide for what to choose when eating out- very eye opening)

-Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (a comical, thought-provoking memoir)

-Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs (ridiculously crazy memoir of growing up under a psychiatrist's roof)

-Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (non-fictional reflection and study of success as we know it, and why it's not so random as we think)

-Push by Sapphire (see the entry a couple down for more info on this book)

...and my current read is a oldie but a goodie: Wuthering Heights. It's one I read in school but I hate to say it, I think I read 50% of it through sparknotes, so I thought that seeing as I now have the time that I'd re-read it, and wow. I definitely don't remember much of it, at least not up to the point I'm currently at (pg. 90 of 320).

ANYWAYS, why am I giving this run down of recent reads? Because I have read some GREAT books, but I know that at least half of them, though amazing, would never be read at BYU, naturally due to their mature content. Yes, admittedly, some of them even make me uncomfortable, but that's because they're so honest about what life can really be like. And I appreciate that. If nothing else it makes me appreciate the life I life, but usually it does much more than that. It helps me totally analyze and question everything in life. For example, in "Running with Scissors", the family totally just gets to do anything they want. Not only are they allowed, but encouraged to do what they want. They can and should also say whatever they want, and often what they say and do is a "little" reckless. But then it begs the question, what is better: to be reckless and say/do whatever, or be more "normal"?

So I think I want to start my own book club, most likely online. I mean I'm sure there are book clubs I could join, but I want to do one where people aren't afraid to learn and read from all books, and can be adult about the facts of life.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ever felt you were born in the wrong body?

Ok, lemme explain. You know how some people are born one gender, only to feel that they are truly the other gender? Well, I definitely DON'T know how that feels- I'm happy to be a woman and couldn't imagine myself a man, I really can't. BUT, I do sometimes wonder if I was supposed to be born in a different time or culture. Ok, so I don't take a lot of stock in it, because in actuality I don't think I'd ever trade my current life for any other, but there are a few times/places/people that I wish I could (have been) be part of. They are (in no particular order):

1) British- Ever since I was a young girl, I've always had a crazy adoration for everything British. I love their accents, music, architecture, culture, politics, everything. I am a total wannabe; and yes some of my friends will tell you that my attempt at an English accent is horrendous. But I some times get a little sting in my heart when I think I may never live there. Maybe I will, but most likely not. Everything over there is right down my alley and I'd have a hay-day living there. I would wanna live in a cute townhouse in or near London and be able to drive on the left side of the street and have free healthcare. Plus, their fashions are fantastic.

2) Native American- It saddens me when people are negative about Native American culture because honestly I think it is such a beautiful culture, and the people are so beautiful too. I mean I will admit that some of them don't realize how lucky they are to be so awesome, but overall they are wonderful. I wish I was a Native American woman and I'd grow my dark hair out really long and braid it and wear pretty beads and feel free and unrestrained. Maybe this is a bit inaccurate about how Native Americans generally live, but it's how I would live :)

3) Harlem Renaissance- I yearn to see how life was during the Harlem Renaissance. I feel a really unique energy from this period of time. It truly was a re-awakening, a rebirth of potential and self-worth. I would love to meet and be inspired by Langston Hughes. I would wanna share a brownstone with other families, as long as I could walk down the street and say hi to everyone because everyone was, in a way, family. I would also like to feel every emotion, high and low, that they felt.

OK so there are sooooo soooo many other places and times that I'd die to see, but I think that it's pretty normal to wanna see what other places are like. But these are 3 main ones. And may I say that I have no idea how heaven really is, but I hope that above all else, all my questions that went unanswered receive their answer and that I can see how life was in every place/time. :)

A Belated Thanksgiving...

So, usually I don't take much stock in holidays such as Thanksgiving. It's good in theory to celebrate gratitude, but I often think these days holidays are an excuse to market products and make heaps of money; I think most of them have lost their real meaning, and are overshadowed by presents, shopping, etc. In fact, I want to get in to this topic a little further, but that may be a topic for another entry.

However, this week I had a somewhat belated revelation of gratitude. Usually on thanksgiving, I think to myself, "I'm thankful for my blessings"'s pretty general, and all-encompassing. Then, I read a book called "Push", which is about a 16-year-old girl in Harlem who has it pretty rough- she has been raped by her father since she was a tiny child, which has resulted in 2 children; she is completely illiterate; her mother abuses her, and lives off welfare; and even when she runs away from her mother, she discovers she has AIDS. And not to spoil the ending for those of you who plan on reading (so if you don't want to hear the ending, skip to the next paragraph), but we never see her actually become something totally successful. The ending insinuates hope, and that she will soon be up to par to take a GED exam, so that's good.

The craziest thing about the book is that it is based on true events. It was sobering to read and realize that I have been born in a very wonderful, relatively easy life, and that I should not only appreciate it, but not take it for granted. I realized that I truly am grateful for my life. Yes, it is cliche, but it's totally true, and not some stock saying that I just use on thanksgiving.

Ok end of sappiness.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


As you may know, I like to discuss line-stepping topics from time to time. I like to analyze, and I like to look at these topics from perhaps an unorthodox p-o-v.

So, it seems like every channel I've switched to tonight is discussing Tiger Woods' alleged adultery. And all the commentators keep saying is how disenchanted they are with this guy who they once thought was all clean-cut and a great role model, and how it's "just sad" that he's turned out to be this kind of person.

First off, who did they really think Tiger Woods was- God?? I mean no offense, but I don't think he should be considered any less fallible than any other human being. I don't understand why we put so much stock in the "role model", because no one really should feel pressured to act perfect; Plus, when you finally find out that they're not perfect, it kind of feels like you've been lied to all along.

Let it be said that NO ONE is even close to perfect in this world, and to anyone who pretends to be, I have a news flash: WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT PERFECT. Shocker! Nothing wrong with trying to be a good person, and you don't even have to settle for less if you don't want, but be willing to admit fault and imperfections when they happen.

Next, by no means are Tiger Woods' actions ok. Most of us can agree that he acted a fool and that he has a long road ahead of him to gain forgiveness. But I also kind of feel bad for him- yes, he has a life that most people dream of- a beautiful wife, amazing talent, and billions of dollars. But all of that isn't a guarantee for happiness. In fact, there's a song I oft like to quote, called "Mo' money, mo' problems", which states that "the more money we come across, the more problems we see". Frankly, I'd rather have a kick back life with less money than a bustling, high pressure career, trying to juggle a family and multi-million dollar endorsements, etc. And just because your wife is "beautiful" doesn't guarantee a happy marriage.

Ultimately, I have learned that most cheaters aren't just doing it for fun- they usually have psychological/self-worth issues/whatever that make them feel like they need attention or other gratification from someone else. And most of them will ultimately need to come to the realization that they need to find satisfaction in themselves, before they look for it in others. Cheating is not okay, but we need to look beyond the action of cheating, and get to the why of the actions.

So in a (larger) nutshell, I feel bad for everyone involved, and I think it's obnoxious how people are throwing stones at a very complicated situation.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Something Strange is Happening

Yes, I've de-privatized my blog- I'm sick of being private. I know it's probably wiser, but it's a pain to be private...

But that's not the strange thing that I'm talking about...the strange thing is that I'm experiencing somewhat of a pivotal moment in my life right now: I am weaning off one addiction, and to be honest, I'm kinda wondering what I will do with myself once it's gone...

See, for the past couple years, I've been pretty interested in makeup- to an obsessive point. I have gotten to where I have so much that I can't take it anymore- the saturation is too much for me- it's driving me crazy! Just like a drug addict, you have to reach that bottom, that lowest low, and mine is not nearly as dramatic as going to jail or being hospitalized or anything- it's simply that I am sick of carting around all this darn makeup!

Now, I must also point out that makeup is more than just a physical addiction- using my makeup is a hobby for me, and something I'm quite passionate about- to the extent of doing it as somewhat of a "career" too. So, it's not all bad, but there's only so much of it that I can take before I lose it.

So anyways, I've been selling tons of it at low prices which is depressing because I'm lucky to be getting 50% of what I paid...but it's a start.

But now I'm like, what else can I do that is going to offer me the same sort of satisfaction? Because honestly, buying makeup is really fun- it gives me that high, which I have recently learned that retailers aim to instill in their audience. So yea, it's fun, ESPECIALLY when I know I have money to afford the cost. But now I'm just like, is overrated. I need something to pre-occupy me that is equally as rewarding but isn't as damaging to my pocket book and doesn't make me feel like a hoarder...sigh...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

An Observation

This post has somewhat to do with Feminism. In truth, my interpretation (and that of many others) of Feminism is ultimately a belief that women should be able to exercise their full potential. I understand that there are current associations with the word that might make some more conservative folk cringe, and that's ok, because I am not really here to contend what the word means to the individual. 

I do however, mention this because I am, by the above definition, a feminist. I would also say that I, over time, have been known to be uncomfortable with the status of gender roles in society. A lot of this could be attributed to my Women's Lit class at BYU (or even all of my lit classes for that matter), but a lot has to do with the way I've observed being treated over time. 

For example, I notice that if I wear makeup the way I want to wear it, people definitely treat me worse than when I wear almost no makeup- because a woman wearing makeup is a bimbo or something. As a bus driver, I got a lot of guff, even from women- especially from women because of my choice of occupation! And I've noticed men try to push me out of the way when I'm trying to help with a task that's generally reserved for males, such as carrying heavy stuff. There's a lot more behind every situation, and I am digressing too much, because this is not really the point...

What is the point, then? Well, because of this discomfort that I have between roles, I generally don't like when men try to do things for me, ie: opening the door, carrying heavy objects for me, letting me butt in line, etc, simply because I'm a woman. It's kinda like, so what, you are a human, I am a human, why do I need to be in line first? I feel like when someone does one of these things, it's drawing attention to our genders, saying that I am smaller or lesser, thus I should get an advantage, like getting first in line. It's silly, but that's how these things have made me feel.

ANYWAYS, so but a month or so ago, I was in Skagway, and after eating in a public place, I got up with a couple of people (me and two men) and we went up to dispose of our plates at a garbage station- and the attendant, even though I was last to reach the station, grabs my plate from me, doesn't even offer to help the men out with theirs. I knew it was because I am a woman, and at first I wondered, "what is it that I appear that I can't clean off my plate just like the men?". 

But then it struck me- hurray!! I get special treatment. It comes unsolicited by me, as I have mentioned. I never ask for it, and I certainly prefer that I don't get it. BUT - if someone is going to offer it, I might as well accept it, happily. Is this silly? Shallow? Even defeatist? However, I figure that people are just trying to be polite, and doing it with the best of intentions. Why should I be rude and not show appreciation for their good manners? Plus, I guess it's true- if you can't beat em, join em! :)

I know I am rambling as of now, but I feel good coming to terms with one part of feminism. 

I think another part is the recent, new realization that I deserve being treated well. This comes from my therapist who once scolded me for not accepting compliments. I think I blogged about this before, right? Well basically, if someone says "that's a cute dress" or "you were so great up there" or "you are beautiful", I ought to accept it and say thanks! No more of this crap like "No no I was horrid" or "I don't think I'm pretty"- I realized it's awkward and even kind of rude when people reject compliments, anyways. So I think the whole concept works here. I shouldn't feel bad if someone takes my plate for me, I should graciously accept it. 


Ok hello! I know, it's been a while. I haven't been entirely out of the blogging loop, though-- I started a new blog because Trent and I are currently traveling the country in a HAL motorcoach, doing promotion for Alaska Cruises and Cruisetours. It is seriously one of the best gigs I've ever had. It's given me so many wonderful opportunities/experiences, and has some really great perks, too. ANYWAYS, I'm trying to maintain a blog about this experience that can be found here: but if this blog is any indication of my maintenance skills, then you know it's not ever going to be entirely updated! :) 

This blog is still going to be updated though, with my random thoughts. 

And finally, I'm happy to say that the things that I discussed below are not really eating at us anymore- whether the problem still remains in Utah, we don't really care anymore, because we aren't there! :)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Rant of Sorts

One thing I've enjoyed (but didn't quite realize it all the time) while here in Alaska is that hardly anyone is trying to perfect others. This is a far cry from Utah County, where people are constantly prying into one's personal life, trying to find things they can fix. In Utah, Mormonism is not a choice; rather, it is a social code of conduct and if you don't follow it, everyone else has the right to bark up your tree about how detrimental your disobedience is to yourself and to others. 

I notice this now that my poor husband has returned back to Utah, only to be hassled by people about our lifestyle choices, choices which are neither damaging nor unusual-- They just aren't what some people envision our lives to be. Instead, they want to pick at every one of his character traits, trying to make sense of why he chooses to live the way he does. Well, here's the answer: We are very happy, and we don't want to be changed. There are some things we'd love help with; I'm sure Trent would enjoy someone to help him with his homework, and hey, I need a job- can you help me out? 

But we DON'T need help making choices in life. We are not 5 years old  any longer. 

I, for one, have never lived my life trying to please others. To me, that is pointless, because it will never be successful. After all, I remember sitting at lunch in 6th grade with some "popular" girls, and as soon as one of the "friends" walked away from the table, the other girls immediately began to gossip about her and say mean things.

If I didn't know it before, I knew it then: people are fake! They live double lives, acting nice or perfect one minute, then stabbing you in the back the next. I imagine I might have gotten a lot further in life if I was fake- you know, suck up to this person, flash a boob to that person (<--hehe). If I don't have something to say to someone, I am not going to make up a fake conversation; I will not flatter anyone undeservedly. If I feel fake doing it, I won't do it. I won't change for someone else, and anyone who does that is straight up insecure. 

Can't people just take a deep breath, and love each other without worrying about the eternal ramifications? Just for a minute? I imagine it gets very tiring to be concerned all the time. 

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Weird Dreams

As a young child, I repeatedly dreamt that I was driving a car, but A) I didn't know how, and B) I didn't have a license because I was too young. I'd always start freaking out, and inevitably the cops would catch on and start following me. I hated these dreams. Yet when I turned 17 and got my license, they stopped forever.

Then, when I graduated from high school, I started having dreams that I was back in school for whatever reason. I've had dreams where I was in 3rd grade, and others when I'm in my Junior year. Now that I'm just now done with college, I am having dreams of being back there. And I've decided that it's really weird to be done with school. I presume that I am done with school completely, as I currently have no interest in graduate school (although this could change eventually). It's a relief and a burden at the same time. I'm glad I will never have to worry about another exam or paper, but now I have to deal with a job for. the. rest. of. my. life.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Can we say awkward?

So. Just got back from the gym. I am still (figuratively) dripping sweat as we speak because I had to run out of there so quickly. So I'm at the end of my routine, just sitting down on the mats to do some crunches, when some guy (skinny, curly hair, glasses= you know) comes in (the gym had, up to this point, been empty). I've got my earplugs in, jamming to some Rihanna, and wiping the drops of perspiration off my face, when he goes "excuse me ma'am" so I take off my headphones, and he says, "Can I take you out to dinner sometime?" WTF!?!?! So I was like "I'm married, thanks". LOL. Then he replied very awkwardly, "You're married? Ok cool", smiles and walks away. I basically did like 3 crunches to pretend like I wasn't freaked out when I actually was quite terrified. Then I fled. 

SO weird, am I right? Like first off, I had never seen him before, let alone actually spoken any words, as one would usually do prior to asking one out. Like, you'd probably want to gage one's interest/availability before just getting straight to the point! Secondly, it probably isn't the best timing in the world when my face looks like vinyl, it's so sweaty!! Maybe that's what it was, the glowy, ultra-dewy skin?? hahaha. I really felt like calling in Hitch for this fellow, because he definitely needs some game advice.

End of awkwardness.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Yes, I am still in AK...and here's what I'm up to!

Not sure if anyone really cares about a run down of what's going on in my life, but I also happen to know that voyeurism is a popular sport these days, so I will proceed with divulging all the news in my life.

Ok first off, if you haven't heard, Trent and I formed a Ghost Hunting club, Peachy Chicken Paranormal Investigators. Yes, that is our website. It's a work in progress, but we also have a blog, And that is also a work in progress but is really cool, nonetheless. Anyways, our club has been hugely successful up here in the north, both in terms of the public's interest, and in our findings at various locations. On our blog we are going to catalog all of our fun experiences. But right now we have 30+ members, and even though the summer is coming to an end (for some), the club will keep on strong when everyone relocates to Utah and nearby regions. We just got our t-shirts in, and we have a bunch of other fun Peachy Chicken paraphenelia, so basically, it rocks. 

Next, I am still here in Skagway, and I am getting what some could call cabin fever. Which is actually impressive because last year I started getting cabin fever around June, so the fact that I've made it this far is pretty impressive. The kicker is I still have 2 months to go. It's not that I don't like it here-- in all honesty, I'm rather content this summer. It's just that our drivers are going to start leaving soon in a slow trickle, and I guess just knowing that people will be back at home living lives, with a Wendy's at one's beck-and-call is kind of depressing. That and I am getting kinda anxious thinking about where we are going to live, how I am going to find a job, etc when I get back. I think I am jumping the gun a little, because I've got so much time left, but I'm just not used to staying til October 1, so I am used to leaving not long from now. But I'm not leaving. It's so weird. 

Finally, I've gotten through the entire day today without eating any sort of junk food. I've been trying to eat healthily for the past week or so, but it is usually pretty difficult. Case in point: yesterday I lost control and snarfed down a butterfinger and reese's peanut butter cup. And other assorted chocolates that I cannot remember, but most assuredly enjoyed. That was not very conducive to my diet, in which it is currently a goal of mine to consume at least 30 grams of fiber and no more than 30 grams of fat daily. Fiber not only produces regular bowel movements, but it also helps break down fat or something like that. All I know is that by monitoring one's intake of fat, it also generally monitors the intake of calories and sugar, etc. I hope to see some sort of change soon, as I think I am doing pretty well, especially today. I didn't sneak a single jelly bean from my friend/co-worker, LoriLee's desk. Even better, one of my other co-workers mentioned today that I look like I've lost weight. First off, I know this to be untrue because I am still weighing in the same (but I know some of it is now muscle, previously known as fat, lol), but I like these compliments nonetheless. Bring them on!

Except I will say that comments about one having lost weight can be a little disturbing because it's like, was I that fat to begin with? Now I was not too fat (ok, I am 15 lbs heavier than I was 4-5 years ago, but I am also no longer a spry 19 yr old, right?) but I guess it can be said that sometimes people hope that other people won't notice they are fat. If no one says anything, maybe they don't notice. Wrong. People don't dare comment on it, but they are probably still thinking that I could lose a couple pounds here or there. Whatever. I am going to the gym religiously and eating "healthy" food, so I guess they can say whatever they want. Plus I really am not heavy by any means. I'm a size 4 for pete's sake. 

Anyways that's my random ramblings for today. :)

Sunday, June 7, 2009


So, I just felt my second earthquake since being here in Skagway. I was sitting in my office, when all of a sudden the floor started shaking quite vigorously. It shook for at least 10 seconds, and then petered out to a gentle vibration until it was gone. There was only one other person in the office, and he did not feel it at all. I was kind of shocked because it was not like things were falling off my walls or anything, but it lasted a while and was noticeable to me. ANYWAYS, so I looked it up on, which is an excellent resource, and sure enough, it was a 5.37 Magnitude, located approximately 65 miles away. Pretty far, which is why we didn't get any real brute force, but a 5.37 is pretty big. The last one I felt was approx. 3.7, and it was noticeable, but not as much as this one.

I know that Alaska has a lot of earthquakes. But I think it's odd that I've never felt any until this summer, and both happened to be in my office. Maybe it's because my office is close to the ocean? I am maybe 150 feet from water. I am sorry to say I don't know much about earthquakes, other than that we get a lot here in Alaska, and I think they are kinda cool. I by no means think kindly of the huge, devastating kind, but the smaller ones are intriguing to say the least. Our earth is interesting.

Anyways, I know this is all kind of dorky, but I am excited to have experienced a couple!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Greetings from the North Pole!

Ok, so maybe I'm not that far north, but I am back for my 3rd (!) summer season in Skagway, AK. I've actually been here for a week and a half now, so the surrealism has worn off, but it's still kinda crazy to be back. When I first arrived, I felt like I hadn't even left. It just all looked the exact same. I really wonder what happened to the 9 months in between. They just whizzed right by!

Anyways, here's what I'm up to these days. I'm an "Operations Supervisor" for my company, which means I, along with 3 others, directly supervise 60+ drivers to schedule them and make sure their needs are met. So far, it's been very busy, and there's been a lot to learn, but I have high hopes for the summer and the experience I'm going to have therein. So yea, that's what's up in a nutshell. :) More updates soon!

Monday, April 20, 2009

A Pet Peeve

So today, during my bi-weekly retail therapy session, I was at a store in which the manager and a sales associate were sitting behind the counter gossiping about another fellow employee. I did not really catch the gist of the convo, but I did hear that they were hating on this individual. Ok can I just say that this behavior irks me so much? How do these people even become managers?? There must not be a professionalism course in their training. Or do they even get trainig? I mean, it drives me nuts when sales associates talk crap about their job or employer-- after, all it seems like this happens at most crusty mall stores-- but the manager? I am willing to bet that this manager is a good person- in fact, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that I would maybe even like her if I met her on the street. But I just think people need to take a good look at the way they act in public, especially when they are representing a certain company. End rant here. :)

Monday, April 6, 2009

Are Blogs Dangerous Ground?

So I know some people out there in this world who have gotten in trouble b/c of things they've said on their blogs. Actually, I have to admit that when I was younger I might have said some regretful, hurtful things about a friend that came to bite me in the ass later, long after I forgot I had written them. Because we are hiding behind a screen when online, I think it's a lot easier to express ourselves. However, sometimes that freedom to be ourselves hurts us later.

Lately, I know of people whose jobs have been compromised, others whose mental health has been questioned, and so forth, because of the things they've said on their blogs. Nowadays even facebook and myspace are places where employers seek for potential candidates, where colleges investigate applicants. So, are blogs dangerous ground? Should we even blog, or is it not worth the risk of reputation? One of my fave bloggers is a girl who is very open with her feelings and thoughts. She doesn't front, she says exactly how she feels, even if it's a bit unhappy or not what people wanna hear. Instead of the typical blogger of how happy she was chasing her children around the house or baking cookies for her husband, she talks about real life and real feelings. Yet she is often criticized for putting herself out there so much, especially since her feelings can really be like a rollercoaster ride sometimes.

However, I think that in real-life, we have a hard time expressing our feelings. Let's face it, most of us are too afraid to confront people we don't know so well, or whatever it is. Most of us are a little whimpy, and so we never get our true feelings out. So it is kind of refreshing to have a forum where we feel we can express ourselves. Not to say we should gripe behind people's backs or bask in our insecurity. But at the same time, it's not totally unusual for people to be human. And kind of refreshing to read their blogs and say "phew! good, they're normal". There's really nothing wrong with that.

That being said, it's ok to be careful about what you say, as in maybe not attacking people personally or posting nekkid pics (LOL) - good judgment is really important! But otherwise, it's ok to be real, and blogs are a great way to share that reality. That's all. :)

Friday, March 27, 2009


So while driving to school today, the djs on the radio were talking about weird things that have happened in the public restroom (like people eating chips on the jon, and so forth) and I was trying to think about weird things that have happened to me. A long time ago I wrote a post about one of my public restroom pet peeves and that was basically the weirdest thing I could think of. Well, little did I know that in a matter of hours, I would have one of the weirdest/grossest public restroom experiences...

So, class ends, I'm ready to go home, but I decide to stop at the restroom on the way out of the JKB. I see this girl coming from the other direction who ducks into the bathroom, and 10 seconds later, I push my way into the rest room as well. However, the restroom door felt all wet. I thought this kinda gross and weird, but I didn't see anything on the door, figured it was just water, although I definitely still thought it odd that there was water on the door. Well just as I walked in, I heard from the stall where the girl went, a sound that was akin to someone pouring a bucket of water into the toilet. Sounded strange but I carried on w/ my business.

Anyways, after my tinkle, I come out of the stall, and the people walking into the bathroom are all like grossed out, and looking at their hand, and then going straight to the sink to wash it. I washed my hands and although I usually like to do a good hand washing job, I figured this was a good time to really scrub hard b/c who really knows what I touched?

So then, as I was walking out of the restroom, I looked down, and I saw it. Puke trailing all the way from the bathroom door to the girl's stall. Oh yummy. And then I smelled it and it got stuck in my throat- all hot and heavy and gross! So I definitely used tons of antibacterial stuff all day. 

Then later in the day I found out my dogs had soiled their blankets, but only after I grabbed the pee soaked blanket! This is a day of sickyy for sure. 

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Note to Aspiring Bloggers...

...don't be a slacker like me! Posting once a month or less is no way to attract readers. Sigh.

Anyways, per Bethany's request, I am writing an entry. I hope Bethany will now have something to do this afternoon. :)

So what have I been up to lately? Well, I'm working on graduating at the end of April - can't wait-, I've been living in my grandmother's abode (aka housesitting) while she is cooped up in Cali, I have been working for vending for BYU (manual labor, YEA!), etc, etc.

I have seen a couple good movies lately: Confessions of a Shopaholic, and He's Just not that Into You. My goal is to see Slumdog Millionaire tonight! Can't wait! The first two I listed, though chick flicks, were both good in their own ways. Both chick flicks, but two different moods in either. And actually, the He's Just not that Into You film is what I have been thinking about today, for no whatever reason.

To set up the premise of the book/movie, it's basically a bunch of relationship scenarios in which the girl (or guy) make up excuses for the significant other's lack of pursuit. ie, he's out of town so he can't call me, his mom might be in the hospital, he's married, etc etc. Now, ok maybe some excuses like he's married are justified (LOL) but still the bottom line is, HE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! If he is on his business trip, great, but he will find time to call you if he's interested. He will ask you out on a date if he's interested, he will divorce his wife he likes you THAT much (again I don't necessarily condone this one obviously so don't read into it that way, I'm just stating a fact of life). If not, move on til you find a guy who IS into you. Because a into you type of guy will not miss out on his chance to be with you, right?

ANYWAYS, there's a specific scenario about a married couple- the guy has an affair with another girl. He tells the girl he likes her, but he is too "wussy" to leave his wife- so instead, he plays both of them, telling the girl he loves her, telling his wife he loves her. So in essence, the he's just not that into you plays for both girls: the wife, because if he loved her so much, why is cheating? And the girlfriend- why doesn't he leave his wife for her?

Well, eventually (and sorry, this is a big SPOILER!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME OF THE ENDING GIVEN AWAY- BUT THEN YOU'LL MISS OUT ON THE POINT OF MY ENTRY, LOL), the wife leaves him. She flat out dumps his ass on a corner somewhere. Well, not really, but she shifts into female empowerment gear and moves on in her life, and even though it probably hurts, she is all the better for it. Sighh. What a wonderful scene. Or is it?

Let's just say, it is COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC. Sure, that is what every neglected woman in this world should do. Cut the crap, move on. Don't sit there waiting for the db to change, while you could really spend your time with someone who actually cares. Or so the writers of the book would say. However, in the movie, the woman must have a pretty nice job, because she moves out and gets a new fancy apartment somewhere in Baltimore. She doesn't have to move into her parents' spare bedroom with 5 kids, because she doesn't even have any kids. So while the way she deals with her husbands' cheating is admirable, most wives can't afford to walk out. I think that is one reason why they always try to "work it out" with their husband. "Where am I gonna go? I don't have a job, a livelihood. I don't think anyone will ever be attracted to me b/c I've gained 50lbs after all these kids. I don't even have any marketable skills".

Now I do have a problem with women who don't practice their marketable skills (in case of a rainy day) but honestly that is another topic for another day. But what I am saying IS along those lines: What does a woman do? Stay, knowing that her husband may hurt her again and again- forgive him, not because you have forgiveness to give, but because it's your only chance for survival? I guess I feel bad for women who don't have tons of $$, who don't have marketable skills, etc to help them get through a in return they end up staying in a bad relationship. Because even though I'm close to graduation, I wonder what I would do if I got divorced. Already, after 1.5 yrs of marriage, I feel dependent to the point where I don't know what I'd do if didn't have my husband. That's a scary thought, and it's something EVERY WOMAN, no matter how young or old, needs to consider. Because you just never know.

I know this could be guys too, I just used woman throughout the post to make it easier, but a man could definitely find himself in the same situation..

Ok I'm off. :)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Juicy Secrets

Have you ever heard of postsecret? If not, check it out and it's pretty obvious what it is- people send their secrets in on postcards and the blogger posts about 20 each Sunday. It has been so successful that they have published at least 3 giant books full of postsecrets. And one of my secrets? One day I want to get off my lazy butt and send in my own secret! 

Anyways, this LDS blogger Pulispher Predilections, recently sponsored her own type of postsecret, inviting readers to anonymously post their secrets in the comments section. Unfortunately, she closed it before I could post my secret, but 451 people posted! And many of them I swear I could've written. Others however, were super depressing, I wanted to cry for them, because I realize that the poker face is way too common- we have no idea what people are feeling or going through, do we? I think if I sent in a secret mine would probably be: Thanks to postsecret, I learned how normal I really am. :)

Here are some of the interesting secrets submitted. My comments will tell you how I feel about the given secrets:

-I appear to believe in the Church, but I don't anymore. This was said fairly frequently amongst the LDS secrets, though in many different ways. There are a lot of people putting on a facade to impress their neighbors, but in reality, it's just to keep up with the Joneses. I hope people learn to escape that trap. Being honest with yourself and others is the best way to feel sane- it is seriously so rewarding. 

-My first husband cheated on me so many times that when he unexpectedly died, I was relieved. There were a lot of posts about relationships that aren't so hot. Husbands are lazy, unappreciative, neglecting, etc. Since 50% of marriages end up in divorce and among the ones that survive, I'd bet only 20% are actually good, it's no surprise. Relationships are by no means easy, and I could go on and on on this topic for hours, but basically, not all relationships should be continued, such as the one above. For those with "smaller" problems, get help.

-Most of the time I feel like a teenager pretending to be an adult. Every once in awhile I'm terrified someone's gonna call me on it. "What do you think you're doing?! You don't belong here with us REAL adults!" hehe. It's because adults have always looked like they know what they're doing, and since I definitely don't know what I'm doing, I don't feel like how I always imagined it would be to be an adult. Then one day I realized, adults are just as confused as kids! :)

-I'm ready for another baby. My husband isn't. And I don't know what to do. I wish I could get my IUD removed without telling him, but the guilt would eat away at me.
And he'd know what I'd spent money on. I HATE being on such a strict budget that there is absolutlely no wiggle room.
 Well, I can't relate to the wanting a baby thing- but I do think communication is key. Obv it's missing  from this relationship. And the $$ thing is also problematic. Certainly $ can be tight, but I take issue with women confined to their husbands via the pocketbook. 

-I wish Mormon women who have been through the temple could wear sexier underwear than our garments. I appreciate and understand what the garments represent, and I'm thankful for that, but they are seriously unsexy. I would be happy with just a more comfortable one, particularly for my body shape. Like, why are all the good cuts in slippery, bunchy fabric? And I wish I just didn't feel 10lbs heavier when wearing them. Otherwise, while not sexy in the least, I like wearing them anyways.

-I spend too much money and most of it my husband doesn't know about. I'm such a pig. I second this! I am definitely a little miss piggy. Although my husband eventually knows about it b/c I can't keep a secret for the life of me.

-I read "Between Husband and Wife" and it says specifically to not use Sex as a bargaining tool. So I don't, and I think were happier because of it. I did not read this book, but I agree. I know of couples that if the wife can get a new pair of shoes she will give it to him. It's like prostitution. Our bargaining tool is that if husband can get rock climbing holds or whatev, I can get more makeup! :)

-It bugs me when members of the church don't keep the Sabbath day holy. It's so disrespectful and it sets a bad example for their kids.
-I hate when people don't keep their temple covenants.
I wish that people would not worry so much about who goes to church, who keeps the sabbath day holy or who does or doesn't keep their temple covenants. The covenants belong to the individual or couple that made them, and if they don't keep them, it's their deal, no one else's. Why do we lose sleep at night worrying about what someone else is or isn't doing? 

The biggest problem with *some* of the members of the church is their desire to single-handedly perfect everyone else- and they will often stop at nothing until they think they have accomplished just that. The reality is, no one in this entire church is perfect. 

-i find some of these secrets really really sad. i hope those of you who really have some hard secrets do something about them. talk to a counselor or find a social worker. please. it will make you happier... I hope many of those people do just that, and that they'll confront and accept their imperfections. Instead of worrying how we look to the Joneses, how about we enjoy being different?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Barry O

So, there are a lot of griping (particularly from the LDS community) about our brand-spanking-new Pres. O- apparently a lot of peeps are annoyed at the "hope" this new presidency brings to the U.S. people. Yea, because hope is something pubes simply aren't used to feeling from their party. I keep hearing comments like "people think everything's gonna change over night b/c of Obama, but it won't" blah blah blah and the like. Obv, it should be a given that things will take a long time to change, and most likely few changes will be made even within the first term.  Believe it or not, some misinformed people out there think now that Obama is in we are all going to be millionaires- literally. Kid you not. Wave a magic wand and all of Bush's wreckage (and then some) is going to be gone. 

I prefer to appeal to Obama himself, in something he said during his inauguration address. As he was talking about change, I was thinking of JFK's famous quote: "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" and just as I was thinking that, President Barry pretty much said the same thing in his own words, inviting all Americans to go forward looking for ways to accelerate change. I was like "A-freaking-men"! Change depends on how much we, the American people want it, and what we do to facilitate that change. There's very little Obama can do as president- really, he doesn't have as much power as we think to actually physically do things, but one thing he can do is generate hope for us to grab onto. Can you see how people have become so hopeful lately? Optimistic? Things are going to get better, or so we think. And sometimes the right attitude makes all the difference. Economists always talk about consumer confidence and its impact on the market. Confidence can definitely facilitate good things. Again, like I said before, we still need to work for it, as there's little that the government can do, but I am glad most people approve of Obama. 

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Mr. President, Have Pity on the Working Man

It's times like these that to be honest, I am grateful we have a democrat president. Democrats are notorious for their desire to help the individual, and although that has been criticized (most people on welfare abuse it, or people who get help from the gov't are lazy, yadda yadda yadda), I think we are starting to appreciate that idea, since even the hardest working people are suffering right now. I love that yesterday Obama met with congressional leaders to discuss a $300 billion tax cut, which would save the average person $500 in taxes ($1000 a couple). As with EVERY decision that President Obama will make, there are obviously supporters and opponents, but I think what he said about it was most important: "The reason we are here today is because the people's business cannot wait". This is evident of how in tune Obama is with the American people. He realizes that something MUST be done, and it cannot be the usual, or what would be done in a normal time. This is a time of struggle that is different from any other we've seen- ever. Even the Great Depression was different, because things have changed so much. We rely a lot more on international products, our economy therefore affecting the entire world. Anyways, I have always loved Paul Newman's song Mr. President; I always thought of Bush every time I heard it over the past 8 years, but I always sighed knowing that he was simply too out of touch with the people. It seemed like such an appropriate song for him. I am just hoping that Obama's start is a sign of what he will do the entire time he is in office, and that that song never reminds me of him. 

Monday, January 5, 2009

A Great Start to the Semester

Ok no offense, but just because you are wearing penny loafers does not mean you actually need to insert a penny into the slot. I saw a GIRL wearing penny loafers with pennies in them today on campus. I get slightly concerned by some of the things I see on that campus, but the scariest thing is when I look in the mirror and realize I am no better than anyone else in my fashion. :)

Anyways today I started school AND found myself a job. Not bad for day 1 of looking right? Well, actually, it is for BYU Vending, I worked for them a couple of years ago, and some-freaking-how, the manager remembered me! I really didn't think he would, particularly without me refreshing his memory since it's been what, 2 1/2 years? Anyways I feel really blessed to have a job. I don't really "need" one perse, since my husband is working this semester (and makes prob 3x what I am) but with only 8 credits on my schedule, I figured a little part-time job would be fun for me. I always enjoyed vending, it's one of those jobs that you never really think about, the vending machine just fills itself, right? Just like billboards change themselves. hehe. But it's really fun to see how things work and I remember how in shape I was from hauling boxes all over campus! I'm definitely looking forward to it.

I am taking 3 classes this semester: My senior english "capstone" course that focuses on mystery and detective literature; The english novel in which we will read a 700 page George Eliot novel, among others; and finally, basic makeup! I am so so excited for this one, b/c I love makeup and now I am going to learn techniques that will hopefully advance me into the field! Oh, and if anyone ever is in town wants to be a model for me, please let me know, as I prefer to work on other people, but I have to bring my own if I want to do that.

So other than nearly peeing my pants in fright coming home in a blizzard tonight, things are going pretty well. Seriously I hate driving in the snow- I never do, since I usually force Trent to drive in those conditions (he is my chauffeur), but since he's out of town, I actually have to do difficult things for myself. Pshhh. 

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy New Year!

I thought a revamped blog layout would be appropriate for ringing in the new year (even though I'm a few days late in ringing it in, haha). I feel like a schmuck though, because I didn't even come up with any resolutions- not that I would have kept them for very long anyways. Actually, I do hope to come up with a couple, and maybe they don't coincide necessarily with the new year, but they will be things I have planned anyways, such as getting more exercise and eating healthy. Like I say, they probably won't last very long! :)

So just an update on my life: First, I must say I am a little unsure of what direction I'm going to take my blog. I like addressing issues that are important to me, but I also realize that the internet is kind of like the feather analogy - if you rip a pillow open outdoors, and let the feathers float all over, try picking them up again, it will not be possible. Eventually any information on here will be all over the web, and maybe that's not what I want. So we'll see how things go, I still want to address more topics than just the mundane trivialities of life.

Yea so I wrapped up the Fall Semester rather well- I got my best grades ever, which really is not a 4.0 by any means, but I was still pleased with the results. I loved ALL my classes, and it was my last FULL semester of undergrad work. Tomorrow I am starting school; I only have 2 classes (5 credits) this semester, so I plan on getting a part-time job to keep me semi-busy. I don't know where I'll be working yet, but that's something I'm dealing with this week.

Trent and I spent the holiday in the east coast; half of it in Washington DC, the other half of it in NYC. Unfortunately, I caught this "gastroentronitis" or something like that, which is a sort of flu that has been wiping everyone out! It was horrible, I've never felt so ill before. It was weird though because it would kind of come and go, or at least the effects would lessen for a short time before coming back. It was nice that I could go out and do things during those times, but overall I wasn't able to do a lot, because I was so worn out and tired. I did get to go to the MAC Cosmetics Pro store and grab some hard to find goodies! On one of the last nights of my trip, I woke up at 2:30 am with the worst gas pains I'd ever felt in my life. It felt like my stomach was blowing up like a balloon, but no gas was being released. I definitely panicked, wondering what if I just popped? lol it sounds funny, but really wasn't at the time, so my mom took me to the emergency room. I had to wait an hour in the waiting room and wanted to die, the pain was excruciating. However, by the time they admitted me, the gas had started passing a little, and I was starting to feel better. I was given 2 IV bags worth of fluids because I was quite dehydrated- I was gaunt and weak, but as they gave my fluids, my mom said it was amazing that my face started getting fuller and more color again. They also gave me a few pain meds in the IV- wasn't so sure that I needed them, but what the heck, who's going to reject free pain meds? Those made me feel kind of good, at least relaxed enough to sleep for a while when I got home 4 hours later. The next day, they told me I could only eat clear liquids like broth and jell-o but I'm sorry, I couldn't do that all day. I felt better at that point so I might have eaten a little pasta. :) NOW, I've been plagued with a cold, which totally bites - I just can't get rid of these illnesses it seems!

Trent is in Seattle this week for work; he left today, and I already miss him like the dickens! It's times like these that I'm grateful to be living in such close proximity to my mother in law (hehe), because at least there's someone to talk to. It just stinks b/c last year, at least I had my little sister here with me to hang out with, but while I have friends here, I don't really have any that I hang out with, so that might have to change this week. :)

One thing I am a little concerned about is my one and only living grandmother, "Big G". While vacationing in California, she slipped and fell and broke her arm and leg! At first we thought it was her shoulder and pelvic bone, but it turns out it's her thigh bone or somewhere near the pelvis, and her upper arm near her shoulder. She is expected to be in the hospital for a time before she can return home, so quite possibly she won't return for 6-8 weeks. I am also worried that once she does return, she will not be able to perform simple tasks like climbing the stairs. :( I am hoping I can visit her this weekend, since Trent will be out of town anyways. I hope things work out for her.

So that's my life in review in a "nutshell". There's nothing really exciting obviously, but I am looking forward to the next couple months.