Saturday, January 24, 2009

Juicy Secrets

Have you ever heard of postsecret? If not, check it out and it's pretty obvious what it is- people send their secrets in on postcards and the blogger posts about 20 each Sunday. It has been so successful that they have published at least 3 giant books full of postsecrets. And one of my secrets? One day I want to get off my lazy butt and send in my own secret! 

Anyways, this LDS blogger Pulispher Predilections, recently sponsored her own type of postsecret, inviting readers to anonymously post their secrets in the comments section. Unfortunately, she closed it before I could post my secret, but 451 people posted! And many of them I swear I could've written. Others however, were super depressing, I wanted to cry for them, because I realize that the poker face is way too common- we have no idea what people are feeling or going through, do we? I think if I sent in a secret mine would probably be: Thanks to postsecret, I learned how normal I really am. :)

Here are some of the interesting secrets submitted. My comments will tell you how I feel about the given secrets:

-I appear to believe in the Church, but I don't anymore. This was said fairly frequently amongst the LDS secrets, though in many different ways. There are a lot of people putting on a facade to impress their neighbors, but in reality, it's just to keep up with the Joneses. I hope people learn to escape that trap. Being honest with yourself and others is the best way to feel sane- it is seriously so rewarding. 

-My first husband cheated on me so many times that when he unexpectedly died, I was relieved. There were a lot of posts about relationships that aren't so hot. Husbands are lazy, unappreciative, neglecting, etc. Since 50% of marriages end up in divorce and among the ones that survive, I'd bet only 20% are actually good, it's no surprise. Relationships are by no means easy, and I could go on and on on this topic for hours, but basically, not all relationships should be continued, such as the one above. For those with "smaller" problems, get help.

-Most of the time I feel like a teenager pretending to be an adult. Every once in awhile I'm terrified someone's gonna call me on it. "What do you think you're doing?! You don't belong here with us REAL adults!" hehe. It's because adults have always looked like they know what they're doing, and since I definitely don't know what I'm doing, I don't feel like how I always imagined it would be to be an adult. Then one day I realized, adults are just as confused as kids! :)

-I'm ready for another baby. My husband isn't. And I don't know what to do. I wish I could get my IUD removed without telling him, but the guilt would eat away at me.
And he'd know what I'd spent money on. I HATE being on such a strict budget that there is absolutlely no wiggle room.
 Well, I can't relate to the wanting a baby thing- but I do think communication is key. Obv it's missing  from this relationship. And the $$ thing is also problematic. Certainly $ can be tight, but I take issue with women confined to their husbands via the pocketbook. 

-I wish Mormon women who have been through the temple could wear sexier underwear than our garments. I appreciate and understand what the garments represent, and I'm thankful for that, but they are seriously unsexy. I would be happy with just a more comfortable one, particularly for my body shape. Like, why are all the good cuts in slippery, bunchy fabric? And I wish I just didn't feel 10lbs heavier when wearing them. Otherwise, while not sexy in the least, I like wearing them anyways.

-I spend too much money and most of it my husband doesn't know about. I'm such a pig. I second this! I am definitely a little miss piggy. Although my husband eventually knows about it b/c I can't keep a secret for the life of me.

-I read "Between Husband and Wife" and it says specifically to not use Sex as a bargaining tool. So I don't, and I think were happier because of it. I did not read this book, but I agree. I know of couples that if the wife can get a new pair of shoes she will give it to him. It's like prostitution. Our bargaining tool is that if husband can get rock climbing holds or whatev, I can get more makeup! :)

-It bugs me when members of the church don't keep the Sabbath day holy. It's so disrespectful and it sets a bad example for their kids.
-I hate when people don't keep their temple covenants.
I wish that people would not worry so much about who goes to church, who keeps the sabbath day holy or who does or doesn't keep their temple covenants. The covenants belong to the individual or couple that made them, and if they don't keep them, it's their deal, no one else's. Why do we lose sleep at night worrying about what someone else is or isn't doing? 

The biggest problem with *some* of the members of the church is their desire to single-handedly perfect everyone else- and they will often stop at nothing until they think they have accomplished just that. The reality is, no one in this entire church is perfect. 

-i find some of these secrets really really sad. i hope those of you who really have some hard secrets do something about them. talk to a counselor or find a social worker. please. it will make you happier... I hope many of those people do just that, and that they'll confront and accept their imperfections. Instead of worrying how we look to the Joneses, how about we enjoy being different?


Tiffany said...

I just wasted an hour of my life reading secrets and that lady's blog - thanks for the entertainment :)

Rin said...

So yeah, I use to read postsecret obsessively for a few years and then one day I realized I ended up being more disturbed than I wanted I stopped. It can be super depressing, especially when people send in really hurtful ones about the people they should love.

I'll have to check this LDS one out though...I'm too curious.

Abby Q. said...

Yea, I love reading Post Secret, but I do agree there are some people out there that I get so depressed for...I think the Mormon ones are really depressing, mostly b/c they're the people I walk past everyday, and they act all perfect but inside it hurts. I like post secret though b/c it passes no judgment- anyone, no matter how disturbing or weird their secret is, it is posted. Sure, I look at some and say "umm that's messed up!" and I hope they get help- but I like that they are able to speak the truth about human nature, ya know?