Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Note to Aspiring Bloggers...

...don't be a slacker like me! Posting once a month or less is no way to attract readers. Sigh.

Anyways, per Bethany's request, I am writing an entry. I hope Bethany will now have something to do this afternoon. :)

So what have I been up to lately? Well, I'm working on graduating at the end of April - can't wait-, I've been living in my grandmother's abode (aka housesitting) while she is cooped up in Cali, I have been working for vending for BYU (manual labor, YEA!), etc, etc.

I have seen a couple good movies lately: Confessions of a Shopaholic, and He's Just not that Into You. My goal is to see Slumdog Millionaire tonight! Can't wait! The first two I listed, though chick flicks, were both good in their own ways. Both chick flicks, but two different moods in either. And actually, the He's Just not that Into You film is what I have been thinking about today, for no whatever reason.

To set up the premise of the book/movie, it's basically a bunch of relationship scenarios in which the girl (or guy) make up excuses for the significant other's lack of pursuit. ie, he's out of town so he can't call me, his mom might be in the hospital, he's married, etc etc. Now, ok maybe some excuses like he's married are justified (LOL) but still the bottom line is, HE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! If he is on his business trip, great, but he will find time to call you if he's interested. He will ask you out on a date if he's interested, he will divorce his wife he likes you THAT much (again I don't necessarily condone this one obviously so don't read into it that way, I'm just stating a fact of life). If not, move on til you find a guy who IS into you. Because a into you type of guy will not miss out on his chance to be with you, right?

ANYWAYS, there's a specific scenario about a married couple- the guy has an affair with another girl. He tells the girl he likes her, but he is too "wussy" to leave his wife- so instead, he plays both of them, telling the girl he loves her, telling his wife he loves her. So in essence, the he's just not that into you plays for both girls: the wife, because if he loved her so much, why is cheating? And the girlfriend- why doesn't he leave his wife for her?

Well, eventually (and sorry, this is a big SPOILER!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME OF THE ENDING GIVEN AWAY- BUT THEN YOU'LL MISS OUT ON THE POINT OF MY ENTRY, LOL), the wife leaves him. She flat out dumps his ass on a corner somewhere. Well, not really, but she shifts into female empowerment gear and moves on in her life, and even though it probably hurts, she is all the better for it. Sighh. What a wonderful scene. Or is it?

Let's just say, it is COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC. Sure, that is what every neglected woman in this world should do. Cut the crap, move on. Don't sit there waiting for the db to change, while you could really spend your time with someone who actually cares. Or so the writers of the book would say. However, in the movie, the woman must have a pretty nice job, because she moves out and gets a new fancy apartment somewhere in Baltimore. She doesn't have to move into her parents' spare bedroom with 5 kids, because she doesn't even have any kids. So while the way she deals with her husbands' cheating is admirable, most wives can't afford to walk out. I think that is one reason why they always try to "work it out" with their husband. "Where am I gonna go? I don't have a job, a livelihood. I don't think anyone will ever be attracted to me b/c I've gained 50lbs after all these kids. I don't even have any marketable skills".

Now I do have a problem with women who don't practice their marketable skills (in case of a rainy day) but honestly that is another topic for another day. But what I am saying IS along those lines: What does a woman do? Stay, knowing that her husband may hurt her again and again- forgive him, not because you have forgiveness to give, but because it's your only chance for survival? I guess I feel bad for women who don't have tons of $$, who don't have marketable skills, etc to help them get through a in return they end up staying in a bad relationship. Because even though I'm close to graduation, I wonder what I would do if I got divorced. Already, after 1.5 yrs of marriage, I feel dependent to the point where I don't know what I'd do if didn't have my husband. That's a scary thought, and it's something EVERY WOMAN, no matter how young or old, needs to consider. Because you just never know.

I know this could be guys too, I just used woman throughout the post to make it easier, but a man could definitely find himself in the same situation..

Ok I'm off. :)

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