Get out there and Shop!

So apparently, retail sales dropped 1.2% in September, which doesn't seem that much, but it's the biggest drop in 3 years! :( Now, I encourage everyone to go out there and do your economy some justice by going shopping! I cannot deny that I love to shop (as long as it doesn't involve Cabela's), and quite frankly would be pleased to help out our economy. Unfortunately there's this thing called Money, and I have none. This reminds me of when the government gave us money last spring to help the economy. It is no secret that I did indeed spend mine, but I have to wonder what good it did since here we are, worse-off than before. I'm not going to complain if the gov't wants to give me free money (after all they gave wall street $700billion, so that should mean I deserve at least $10,000), but I have to laugh that just like everyone predicted, that extra tax money didn't do anything. Except allow me to shop! 

Gay Rights

Ok so as long as I can remember, my conscience has always told me that gay people weren't quite as "evil" as people often make them out to be, and that they deserve equal rights. This has been pretty difficult to reconcile with my religion, one that believes that being gay is a sin. Over the years I have maintained that even though the church will never feel the way I do, I still feel that gay people should still have equal rights, since we our government does, after all, believe in this idea of "separation of church and state" - particularly if they are born this way (and a BYU professor recently held a symposium that proved this is mostly the case). 

The other night, I felt really overcome because I was thinking about how I never had any gay friends growing up, neither any close gay relatives, and even though now I have a few gay friends, they never influenced my opinion on the matter, but even still, I've always felt strongly about this issue. It's weird, why do I care so much? I believe that there is a reason why I am supposed to be an advocate for equal rights, just as I feel, if I had been born in any other era, I would have fought women's rights, black rights, etc. I don't know what my purpose is, but I know there is one, and if nothing else, I know I shouldn't be quiet about this issue. 

But going back to religion, now the LDS church (my church) is spending millions of tithe-payer dollars to fight gay marriage in California, even though really the only big difference between civil unions (which they're o.k. with according to their official site, preservingmarriage.org) and marriage, is the term "marriage". Now it may also be mentioned that the church's policy is generally not to get involved in politics ("we do not believe it just to mingle religious influence with civil government..." d&c 134:9) , and so I am like, well why now, why this matter? I may also add that in many countries like England, the government doesn't even deal with marriage, they just deal with civil unions, then you go to the temple and get your marriage (see mormonsformarriage.com) so, the government civil union doesn't even affect the religious marriage. They are entirely different. 

Now, I must say this is hurtful, especially to see the church that I love so much, fight against another thing I am very passionate about. I cannot tell my conscience how to feel, and I doubt I would ever forgive myself if I tried to change my conscience. But, if I don't agree with the church's opinion, or if I say, fight against Prop 8, then I am participating in activities that are  against the church's teachings, which is wrong. But how can I not when the church is now going to make a name for itself in the world where if I talk to my friends that are gay, they will say "you belong to that church that wants me to be a second-class citizen, that I am not worthy of marriage because of how I was born". I mean, take a tiger and try to say it can't have stripes- impossible right? Well, one would reply, it's because he's born that way- well, gay people are born a way too, and just b/c it's not a part of your skin, doesn't mean it can be changed. Or tell a straight person they have to be gay- wouldn't work, I can't be gay, so why expect a gay person to be straight?

ANYWAYS, I just feel weird about the whole thing, but the one thing that has brought me a little comfort is knowing that I need to put my pride aside and say that God knows all things, he knows why this is happening, he knows it all. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" (Isaiah 55:8). For me to think that I could understand God's way, would be to say that I am on the same level of a God, and let's be honest, that would be straight up blasphemous. So, I don't know why this is happening, but I need to have faith that it will all work out. I haven't stopped hoping that Prop 8 will fail, but I couldn't do that even if I tried and lied to myself- because God would still know my thoughts. When I see all these celebrities contributing to the No on Prop 8 campaign, I feel excited deep down. I can't help it, and somehow I don't think God will blame me for wanting equal rights for all, especially on an issue about love. But, I concede that I cannot criticize my leaders, because they probably don't want to be in this tough spot either -they probably don't want to be criticized by others for these efforts, but it is for a purpose that I don't know.

I hope his makes sense.

I had a photo to attach, but it wouldn't load so all you get is text!

Is it just me or is it more challenging to log in to this blog program than it needs to be? I tried every password in the book (even my usual 123456789 - haha jk but you can try it on my email acct if you like!), and none of them are ever right! Anyways I think that's what prevents me from posting...not to mention wanting to talk about something OTHER than politics and school.

But on the subject of the latter, I have been kind of antsy lately to graduate and get grounded in a "stable" job. I have held a LOT of different jobs in my life: French Teacher, Farm Laborer (ok only for like 2 days in HS!), High-End Jewelry, Data Entry, Banking, Hotels, Rep for Mortgage Co., Retail, Driver (!)/Guide, Vending, Janitorial (!!!), Restaurants, Interactive Marketing, Public Relations- oh man, you name the field, I've probably done something in it. I've even worked for companies where I had no idea what they even did! 

And after all this, I'd like to hold the same job for at least a year, and not have to move. I'd like to make the money I made in Alaska this summer, without having to go to Alaska. Yet I know that with my husband's graduation looming shortly after my own, we will pick up and move somewhere before I can put much into a "stable" job.  So of course, I'm a little apprehensive about even bothering til we get him into an MBA program. Well, at least if the smart cookie does go to Business School as planned, we may end up in the 2nd love of my life, NYC! Where jobs are paid way better than here, even with the high price of living. 

ANYWAYS, you may be wondering why I'm moaning and complaining? Or is that all this is? :) Well, I realized today, that I'm not the only person who ever feels this way about their situation in life. I read someone else's blog today where they said they can't wait til so-and-so is done w/ such-and-such so that they can have a "'normal' life". I think we all are wishing so badly for that greener grass, for that next segment of our lives, that we fail to relax and enjoy today. Before we know it, all those times in our life are going to be distant memories, and we'll be complaining about the current imperfections with our situations. I don't think life or our places there in  will ever be perfect, and if it was, how boring would that be? 

So I'm deciding, right now, to appreciate the point I'm in right now: I'm going to my LAST semester of school, not working (for once!!), I have 4-day weekends (and 5 days off!), and I am financially suited, with a generous allowance for things I want each month. I know I will not enjoy this forever - in fact, I'm sure there's someone thinking, "just wait til you have kids" (2018 will be a memorable year for me), or "you will be working for the rest of your life, so enjoy it now" - well, since I know this isn't going to last forever, I AM going to enjoy it now. 

But I think everyone should enjoy their life now, and whatever path they've chosen for themselves, it won't be any good if each day isn't appreciated for what we have. 

Ok well, off my soap box and onto homework! :)

Yukon

Working as a driver on the Klondike Highway, we go many miles between towns, thus without seeing signs of civilization. It's an amazing feeling, living in an area such as this one, so far removed from huge populations as most places we've lived. There's also however, a scary thought that accompanies this awe, a thought that, I believe, most locals have to accept: if anything goes wrong, there most likely will not be anyone to save you. This thought was drilled in pretty well this week when a road worker who had a heart attack in the middle of the Klondike Highway was discovered eventually by a traveler, who then attempted the task of resuscitation only to find the efforts were in vain; the man died. In the middle of nowhere. There was no one there to save him. As tragic as this was, I couldn't help but wonder if the people who accept these positions know that these kinds of situations are possibly around each and every corner. The closest town may be an hour away, but that does not mean they medical staff that can assist. Therefore, rescue may then be sent from 200 miles away. But by the time they reach the problem, it's most likely too late. Even an airplane cannot be dispatched quickly enough. So, I think it's interesting that in more populated areas of the world, people are so heavily reliant on doctors and hospitals- even just the thought of knowing there is a hospital within a few miles provides much needed comfort. But in the Yukon, you don't have time to get to a doctor or hope that someone will find you and save you. If you don't try and save yourself, there's little chance that anyone else will help you any better. It is this acceptance one living here must have, that nature is larger than us. We must surrender to this fact, and realize that although we are powerful, there is none more powerful than Mother Nature. She does not care that you just spent your life savings on this trip to Alaska and the Yukon - it will rain anyways. If you are hiking the Chilkoot Pass, she will not stop the snow from falling in mid-June. Accepting that there's no conquering her is really all we can do in life, particularly for those living in harsh climates of the world. 

Falling in Love with Music...Again

All thanks to Skull Candy headphones. They make even Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus sound good! I am in love! Oh and in love with my husband for the early birthday gift! 

Ok it's been forever and a day since I last posted, but that's what happens when you're driving a bus 60 hrs a week and live in the middle of nowhere, a place where the internet is hardly available. But here I am, 2 months into, a.k.a. half-way through this hectic summer. And somehow, not quite half way towards my financial goal! But I'm having fun, an adventure to say the least. I want to post some photos of my journeys, but before I do that, allow me to explain where I am and what I'm doing.

I work for Holland America Line, but for their Cruise Tours portion. This means, instead of a 14-day cruise, people opt to explore the interior of Alaska/Yukon via motorcoach for 10 days and then a 3 or 4 day cruise. I drive the route between Skagway, AK and Dawson, YT - about 500 miles. Well, here's a map so you can see- Skagway is down south, I drive to Carcross, pick up passengers, take them to Whitehorse. Then the next day I take them from Whitehorse to Dawson. When I get to Dawson, I usually drive a tour the next day in Tombstone Territorial Park which is on the Dempster Hwy (the road to the Arctic Circle), and pretty much the scariest road I've ever driven on before. Picture an 18-wheeler going  50 mph coming straight at you on a 1.5 lane road. One driver's windshield got hit by a golf ball size rock, and it ended up in his lap, along with a bunch of glass. Come to think of it, I think I almost died today while there. A story for another day.

Ok I'll tell it now. I came around a curb and saw 2 18-wheelers heading my way. The first saw me and clearly tried to slow down, as did I, but it was too close and I just felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as this truck whizzed past me, shaking my coach. The mirrors were maybe 2 inches apart, and the guide on my bus almost peed her pants. She spent the next 10 minutes praising me for a job well done, but what she really was meant was "thank you god for sparing us". Somehow no one else noticed! Oh well... 

In essence, I am very far north, in the middle of nowhere. The Yukon is the size of California with 1% of Cali's population. It's a weird place and I always trip out when I think about how desolate, yet how interesting this land is. 

Ok, enough yakking, I will try to load photos within the next day. The one above is just a gratuitous shot of Trent being molested by stuffed toys. 

yoo hoo!

so i am in alaska/yukon territory for the summer. it's super exciting, and there's so much going on up here! i have worked 12 hr days since wednesday. yea. also internet is totally at a premium up here, so i can't blog as freely as i would like. so i might have to take a semi-hiatus for the summer, but i will try to check in as often as possible!