#@%@^%&@!!

That ^^ is how I feel about interviewing people for jobs! hahaha. It's way harder than it looks! Ok actually, I am really glad for this experience- it is one of those that is going to form and shape me into a proficient leader. I'm already learning the signs of who to avoid, just based on how they filled out the application. I'm also learning a lot from the applicants' responses on questions- kinda like they're contributing to my conception of customer service. It's an interesting process. But can I be finished now? :)

Have I Done any Good in the World Today...

So, I'm not gonna lie-- life has kinda been craptacular lately for me. Personal issues, a dying grandmother and so forth make for a very interesting start to 2010. And I had such high hopes for this year, too! Life is just super weird how it can be perfect and beautiful one minute, and then come crashing down the next.

Despite MY struggles, however, I've lately been reminded of how bad it could be, and how bad it is for some people. I mean I just read today about a British couple that are being held hostage by pirates, and how they're likely to be killed soon. One of the hostages was just saying she wishes she could be dead, etc. I know it's a weird example, but really? Being held hostage by pirates? It would be a nightmare.

Then of course there's the whole disaster in Haiti, which brings me to tears (especially the Hope for Haiti telethon- so heartbreaking!). I mean, it's not like life in Haiti was that great before, and now it is a total wreck. My heart goes out to all of those who have been displaced or broken from this disaster. I can't imagine the strength the people of Haiti must have to survive, and their endurance inspires me so much.

To think these sort of things and more are occurring everyday, and every moment- to think that somewhere there are people being held as sex slaves, people dying of AIDS, someone being murdered, someone starving, and so forth, and so forth, and so forth- really, the challenges I face are NOTHING in comparison. I have decided here and now that if ever I feel sorry for myself, I am going to look beyond myself and help others in need. Whether it be here in the U.S. or in a third-world country, there are plenty less fortunate than I.

Now, I don't say all of this to be facetious or holier-than-thou; I of all people have seriously lacked in the service department. I am often all too self-serving. But I just think of the torture some people are going through right this second, and it's like, really? Can I really sit there and cry about my issues? To do so just doesn't feel right. Anyways. Maybe this blog entry is really just for me. I don't think everyone else should be compelled by it to serve, but thinking about what blessings we have certainly makes our lives seem so much better, right?

Mrs. Manager

So, I am returning to Skagway, Alaska in April for my 4th summer up there. Fourth!! Crazy, it seems just like yesterday when I followed my true love up for the summer. It was risk I was willing to take, and I am so glad I did. I digress...this year, I am going to be Sales & Service Manager, which is an exciting new challenge for me. I definitely don't feel like a manager, but I have a lot of great ideas on leading my team, and I feel as certain as I can be that it will be a successful summer.

Speaking of team, I have been given the privilege of interviewing and selecting my employees. I am kinda in the middle of the interviewing process right now, and hope to be done by early next week. It is fun, but also kind of hard! I have, thus far, been impressed with all those who I've interviewed, and I am confident in their ability, but still it's a little agitating, realizing that hey, I'm ultimately responsible for the performance of these individuals. :) But, I am still really excited, nonetheless, and glad that I can have a hand in the process.

Anyways, I'm still enjoying my "Moosemobile", and will be sad when it's over, but also excited to try my hand at management, as I've never really done this kind of thing before! Should be interesting. :)

Big G

When it rains, it pours...

...And right now, I am all too familiar with that saying. I've been a bit absent from my blog, one because I don't have many hot topics on my mind, but more importantly, my personal life has kinda taken a few hits lately.

Most importantly, my grandmother, or as she is affectionately known, "Big G", is dying of lung/brain cancer. It's really hard to say this, because she is one of my best friends. This friendship has only really bloomed over the past few years, but it's a unique one, one that I don't think could ever be duplicated. 

When I first moved out to Utah, I took her close proximity for granted. I was so wrapped up in college life- all my new friends, dating, rebelling- that I didn't really visit her much. I admit that I didn't value her as much as I should have, and I think I've forever felt a little regretful for that. Yet as I matured, I committed to have a closer relationship with her. I realized that she was only getting older, and I didn't want to look back and feeling that I'd missed out on truly knowing such an amazing lady.

The things that I appreciate about Big G is that she loves, unconditionally. When, for example, a lot of people looked down on me and my husband for getting married outside of the temple, she didn't. She was there the entire way. She was supportive, enthusiastic, and didn't ask questions. 

Over many Sunday dinners, we had endless conversations about "tough" topics. Big G once again reserved judgment. She listened with care, and offered support. Trent and I have always felt that we could be truly honest with her, and she would listen and accept us with open arms.

The past year has been tough for her; she has had oxygen issues, been immobilized for 5 months due to a broken hip, had cancer, had surgery on her shoulder, had catyracts (sp?), and now lung cancer AND a  brain tumor. She has been fighting a good fight, to say the least. 

When talking to her on the phone, I can tell she is deteriorating quickly, and I have wondered how long she will last. Today, the doctors gave her 3-4 weeks to live. It is so disheartening, but at the same time, I have been praying that she may have peace. Of course I don't want to lose Big G-- I can't imagine living without her- but I also don't feel that her quality of life has been too good this past year. I want her to be happy; however, she will be greatly missed. Love you, Big G. 

What does Abby Quack even want?!?

That is the question I have been asking myself lately. It just struck me yesterday that I only have 4 months left of "moosemobile", meaning we're already half way done with this awesome experience! And I just don't know how I got myself into such a great job, and what I'm going to do without it. Sigh.

I am a bit conflicted, though, as to what I want to do with my life. I swear I must be bi-polar in the career/lifestyle area. One minute, I am loving the road and loving the transient lifestyle, then the next, I just want to settle down and live a "normal" life. Like, during the holidays when we spent time with our respective families, I had so much fun, and caught myself thinking, "geez we are so lonely on the road". But now that I am actually out here, I don't feel lonely at all. I feel perfectly occupied and normal. But I do look back at our time spent at Maggi & Kurt's house, and then with my family in the east, and think about how I wish we could be closer to all of our family. I guess there is something to family, huh? :) But then again, we have such an awesome job- er, practically a hobby, it's so awesome- that I think it would be such a shame to not do it again.

Oh, and admittedly, I have gone through a couple miniature bouts of baby hunger over the past few months. I'm not hungry right now, don't worry. And when I say miniature, I mean very mini! I still know I am not "ready"- if I got pregnant I swear you'd think I was carrying an alien, I just don't think I'd be able to handle it. But I have thought nicely upon the idea of being young enough to enjoy seeing my children grow up, and, I think sometimes seeing people around me having kids kinda makes me wanna jump on the bandwagon, especially when I see that their children bring them so much joy. But only in time...

And now, for me, I am going to stop rambling and go do something productive. :)

It's Headband Time (Again!)

Just thought I'd share another one of my completed headbands. I wasn't so convinced by this one, because it is HUGE on my head. I didn't want it to look like a horribly mis-matched toupee. But, tonight I tried it on, and it just looked right with my hair. Don't know what it was, but I liked it. I mean, I wouldn't wear this everyday, but on special occasions, I think it looks great.

The above photo is the best one I have that shows the fun jewel detailing I added. I saw something similar on a headband at Nordie's that they were selling for like $50! When all was said and done, my headband wasn't necessarily cheap to make, but it was maybe $10 max. I still need to find a cheap feather producer...

And, just so you can compare, here is a photo of me earlier in the day, sans headband...

Don't I look so boring?! I definitely think headbands instantly spruce up an outfit and hairstyle! And they are extremely helpful if one wants to bide some time between hair dye sessions. :)

Anyways, I will have more to share soon- I just got some more feathers today!- so I hope I get some good results from them! :)

Wacky Technology

Hi. So we just got back from a truly delicious dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Mi Cocina. The guacamole was truly mouth-watering. And my ensalada was good, though I think I had the same one for lunch at McDonald's today. Nonetheless, the experience was great.

Anyways, I love to gossip. Let's not lie here, ok? I love to gawk at the 7'0'' woman who walked past our table. And I love to eavesdrop into random people's convos. The victims, in this specific case, were the desperate housewife- dallas rejects. They were trying, I'll give them that. But I just don't think they were quite as good as the real desperate housewives.

Regardless of who they were, it was their conversation that got me thinking. They, too, were gossiping. Their target was some mutual acquaintance who wrote such and such on facebook. Unfortunately my usual keen senses were slightly out-of-touch tonight, so I didn't catch the whole thing.

But, it got me thinking. About facebook, and the internets. And technology. And how freakishly advanced we've gotten in just a few years. I can easily hearken back to the "AIM" days, where one's SN was just as good as one's calling card. The cool thing was instant messenger. I still get a little reminiscent when I use facebook's chat feature.

Then, there were websites that one could make, free of charge, on many different host sites such as angelfire and geocities. I was slightly disappointed last year, when I learned that Geocities was closing down forever. I wish I'd known a day or two earlier so I could've saved my obscure, out of date sites that I built when I was in my teens. Clearly, the demand to create (from SCRATCH!) an HTML site is no longer.

We are living in the dawn of the facebook page which, in one "page" instead of multiple, can tell ones story. Or the blog, which is simpler, perhaps even more personal than an entire website.

It's all gotten a lot more condensed. Twitter is a device that basically forces you to spit out what you want to say, without going on and on and on, such as I am doing now. Plus, it's instantaneous and accessible, which means I can tell you I'm going pee the moment it happens, not a few minutes or hours later.

It's just all so crazy! I mean, I wouldn't go back to AIM days, not if I had the chance. I hated the long goodbyes. You'd say "g2g" (meaning I gotta go, lol). Then they'd say, "ok have a good one" or "c-ya". Then you'd say "c-ya". Then it just got long and drawn out. It was just annoying. But it is crazy.

And to think, when I was a little kid, I prided myself in living in the most advanced era. We didn't even have the tiniest idea of what the internet was. Now it feels like we were living in the dark ages, with fax machines being a "new" technology.

Now I know how my parents felt growing up.