Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Big G

When it rains, it pours...

...And right now, I am all too familiar with that saying. I've been a bit absent from my blog, one because I don't have many hot topics on my mind, but more importantly, my personal life has kinda taken a few hits lately.

Most importantly, my grandmother, or as she is affectionately known, "Big G", is dying of lung/brain cancer. It's really hard to say this, because she is one of my best friends. This friendship has only really bloomed over the past few years, but it's a unique one, one that I don't think could ever be duplicated. 

When I first moved out to Utah, I took her close proximity for granted. I was so wrapped up in college life- all my new friends, dating, rebelling- that I didn't really visit her much. I admit that I didn't value her as much as I should have, and I think I've forever felt a little regretful for that. Yet as I matured, I committed to have a closer relationship with her. I realized that she was only getting older, and I didn't want to look back and feeling that I'd missed out on truly knowing such an amazing lady.

The things that I appreciate about Big G is that she loves, unconditionally. When, for example, a lot of people looked down on me and my husband for getting married outside of the temple, she didn't. She was there the entire way. She was supportive, enthusiastic, and didn't ask questions. 

Over many Sunday dinners, we had endless conversations about "tough" topics. Big G once again reserved judgment. She listened with care, and offered support. Trent and I have always felt that we could be truly honest with her, and she would listen and accept us with open arms.

The past year has been tough for her; she has had oxygen issues, been immobilized for 5 months due to a broken hip, had cancer, had surgery on her shoulder, had catyracts (sp?), and now lung cancer AND a  brain tumor. She has been fighting a good fight, to say the least. 

When talking to her on the phone, I can tell she is deteriorating quickly, and I have wondered how long she will last. Today, the doctors gave her 3-4 weeks to live. It is so disheartening, but at the same time, I have been praying that she may have peace. Of course I don't want to lose Big G-- I can't imagine living without her- but I also don't feel that her quality of life has been too good this past year. I want her to be happy; however, she will be greatly missed. Love you, Big G. 


The Boob Nazi said...

Oh man, I'm sorry Abby. We'll be going through our respective grandparent's death together though! We can be strong!

Maria said...

I am so sorry Abby. Big G is a wonderful lady and I know you will miss her a lot. You and Big G will both be in my prayers.

Tiffany said...

Grandma knows how much you love her I have no doubt about that. She has always been great to talk to. :) She is a wonderful lady. I am so happy for her to be reunited with Grandpa, I'm sure she is too.

Love you Abby, hang in there.